I am struggling to get over a toxic relationship. I am trying, I really am. But I feel that my self love is very low right now so I continue to seek the familiar. Does anyone have any experience with this?
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Ryan, I donât know the specifics of your situation. In my situation I have abruptly ended a relationship that was toxic but so familiar that it seemed better to stay in the mess than to move into the unknown. The key for me was to work the steps and trust the process. I have found serenity. Just a bit, but I had little or none before.
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This is amazing.. very helpful.
Thx so much! 
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That was beautifully written and with powerful tips that will really help others like Ryan Thompson!!
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Youâre absolutely right. She has a gift with words and compassion for others
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Also, along with being mindful, be patient with yourself as you go thru this letting go process. You will undoubtedly still have moments or even days of just feeling like 
. Go east on yourself, and be aware that feelings are not reality. You may feel at a bad moment that youâve made zero progress and are no better off now than you were before. However, those are just feelings. Those feelings are temporary. You will get thru the bad moment and realize all is ok in the world, and the progress you made is still real progress. Hopefully each time you go thru this the bad moments will be less intense and last for less time because you have the experiences of working thru them.
yes! and i think itâs bad.. but i think being alone for a long time is what i need
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Yes currently in a toxic relationship and itâs hard to let go because I feel like I deserve it
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I was married to a narcissist for over 25 years. Yeah.
You really donât. They find good people and try to destroy them. You deserve someone who can love like you can. 
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Just knowing that you recognize that itâs toxic is a helluva start! Itâs like just ripping the band aid off and being done with it. Same with a toxic relationshipâŚ
Oof absolutely. For me, loving & having kindness for others is second nature. Loving myself however? That is a daily battle. The inner monologue I have with myself is often filled with the meanest sht.
Iâve started giving myself vocal compliments throughout the day. Like, out loud. It sounds silly, but Iâve noticed it really helps!
âYouâve made it through some really rough sht. Youâre incredibly strong.â
âYou look really good today!â
I think the main thing to try & remind yourself of is that youâre here. Youâre actively trying to build a better life, and that takes so much courage! Itâs so difficult to pick up the pieces & make an effort to try. Youâre brave, strong, & worthy of a beautiful life.
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So beautifully said, Leidy!!
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Emotional sobriety is one of the toughest parts of sobriety in my experience. I was in a toxic relationship and it was easy for me to focus on what was being done to me. Truth is, I had to have my sponsor say we donât get the benefit of seeing how we were to our partners. I was a very difficult person to be with due to my selfishness and self centeredness. I say all that, to say what helped me was focusing on my role for the demise of that relationship and (this was the hardest part) actually forgiving my ex-wife. I also made amends to her and simply stated âHow did my drinking/drugging affect your life?â and I shut up and listened. It was f-tough but I was able to move on without the hate in my heart, I still wanted nothing to do with her but I was able to move forward and not carry that with me. Honestly, that situation almost drove me back to drinking more than I like to admit but it truly takes time to get over those situations and as alcoholics, patience isnât our virtue. Lastly, now that I am on the other side of it, I see that Gods plan for that situation was much better than the one I wanted. Pray for guidance and clarity in that area, and it will come 
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Much gratitude my friend
Thank you
You have self love if youâre asking for advice and staying sober. I canât top any advice that has already been posted to ya. When Iâm feeling down about myself, a walk through wal mart boost my self love. 
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Right there with you. I recently broke up with my four year live in girlfriend who I thought was the love of my life and planned to marry, but turned out to be a narcissist and a closet alcoholic, who wonât stop drinking. It sucks!!
Iâm sorry brothA I know the feeling. Healing and happiness to you 