I am struggling with alcoholism plus a broken relationships cause

Struggling Help
#1

I am struggling with alcoholism plus a broken relationship cause of alcohol on both sides I know I have a problem with alcohol I know he has a problem with alcohol but he blames everything on me this is the worst pain ever tomorrow I am going to my first AA meeting I feel so sick and sad I hoping AA will help

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#2

They will!

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#3

Hey Cindy, you have to help yourself nobody can do it for you. Go to the meeting try to connect with someone. Then check out Gillian Tietz's website, Sober Powered. She is a recovering alcoholic and talks firsthand on just about any topic you can think of. You can also read Alcohol Explained by William Porter it's easy to read and understand what alcohol does to keep you addicted. Reach out anytime

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#4

It will work if you are willing to try the program.
Be honest about what brought you to AA.
Go with an open mind.
Be willing to try the program.
If you are an alcoholic your life will get better.

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#5

I went through that and it's very tough but staying sober you will gain strength, confidence and wisdom and heal. Focus on you first. He has to deal with his stuff and we all know it takes two to tango! You are both responsible so don't take more blame on. If he's still sick that'll continue so just remember you will be getting better and he may still be sick. Can't reason with that until he heals too. Wishing you the best! :heart:

#6

AA will help
People genuinely care and empathize

Weak ppl blame others
Strong ppl blame themselves
Wise ppl blame no one; it just is as it is

Be the change you want to see
Light a candle for yourself and maybe it helps him

But your sobriety needs to be your own and most important over even a relationship

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#7

Dump him, get to meetings and start having a better life.

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#8

Great job being honest! In the first 30 pages of the AA big book it says “hopelessness” many times. Seeing that those who recovered in the AA book were hopeless just like I have been, gave me hope

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#9

Well said Matt, be honest about what brought you to AA. It’s easy to forget that. I’m here because my way wasn’t working

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#10

Thanks Josh. Page 24 of the big book, second paragraph describes me to a tee.

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#11

“We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.”

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#12

Thank u everyone

#13

How did the first meeting go?

#14

I’m going at 530

#15

I’d love to hear your experience. I haven’t gone yet but I am curious

#16

Ok I am very scared already started crying wrote 5 pages of notes cause I don’t know what to expect

#17

Starting to panic and shake

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#18

Just be yourself, I went years ago. I moved and then did not go back in the new state I was in. I should have.
Try the group and just be yourself without guise.

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#19

Everyone is terrified. And everyone finds some relief. Even if it’s not a cure-all (it’s not) it will connect you to other folks who share the common destruction of alcoholism.

Your partner blaming you is based on fear of confronting his own relationship with alcohol. He is like I was. I blamed everyone else. Alcohol was my cure. It was all I had. I couldn’t blame my problems on my cure. In short order, I realized my cure was keeping me sick.

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#20

thank u so much this really makes me feel better I am going to tell my kids this as well cause he always blames everything on me n the kids