I am thankful for continuing to be strong. There have been a few times the past couple of weeks I wanted just one drink. I was not an alcoholic by any means however my mother is. She is in rehab right now for it. My sister and I have been through a lot all our lives because of my moms drinking. I seem to make wrong decisions and don’t treat the people I love the best when I drink a lot. I was having a beer every day or every other day and was treating everyone fine. However on weekends I would drink more and cause problems with my fiancé. I started seeing the bad side of my mom in myself and that is why I decided to try to stay sober. I am currently battling with wanting to just have a glass of wine. Which would be completely fine but I feel like I will be disappointed in myself if I have any alcohol. At the end of the day I want to be able to enjoy a nice dinner with wine from time to time but I am scared that I won’t be able to stop after one glass. It used to always turn into a whole bottle or two. With all that said I am battling not being able to enjoy the occasional drink but at the same time I am proud to still be holding strong on not drinking at all. A bit confused today on how I feel about it all but holding strong for now.
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All that goes away with time. Then becomes second natire and you can still let the weird out lol.
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I think it’s great that you are holding out and pondering how to proceed. Obviously alcohol has played enough of a negative role in your life to ask such questions. I’m not sure what advice I can give you, but I appreciate you being here and sharing with us. We will support you in any way can. If you find you absolutely can’t control your alcohol, just know that you can “learn” to enjoy a life without it. It’s definitely a lifestyle change, and will require some work. However, you may find you are happier after the change than you’ve ever been before.