I am 
THIS:point_left:t4: close to going to the kitchen and poring me a shot of whiskey. I ALWAYS want to drink but for the past few weeks the urge is getting stronger and stronger… 😮💨 and today for some reason it’s worse than yesterday… I don’t wanna tell my sponsor because I REALLY don’t want to hear her tell me not to do it, I also don’t want her to advise that I come to her house… I don’t wanna go to meeting because I’m afraid that it will trigger me to want to drink MORE! I think I need to get back to going to my meeting frequently because I feel like imma fall off 
…. I know this is literally out of nowhere and you probably don’t what to say… but I just needed SOMEONE to tell…
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You know just as well as any of us that drinking because you want to in the moment is just going to cause you to feel worse. Talking to sponsors and going to a meeting is where we hear the hard truths about who we are. Don’t do what you want to do just because it’s what you want. I hope you talk to someone.
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Get your a$$ to meetings, everyday. Do it now.
I get it. It was really hard to start new habits that didn't include drinking. It helped to not have any alcohol in the house.
Do you live alone? If you live with a drinker, maybe you could ask them to limit the alcohol in the house. Maybe they could keep it out of sight?