I am truly so sorry not just for you but mostly sorry for myself. For putting myself in this kind of darkness and spreading it to everybody else's life's hurting each of them.
I am truly sorry for everything 
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Im in the same pozition whatz going on?
Working through shame and guilt can be one of the hardest barriers to get through. Taking responsibility and ownership of your life will change it forever. There's nothing easy about admitting mistakes and defects but by truly understanding who you are deep down inside gives back value and worth. Every day brings new challenges and opportunities to open up your mind and spirit and help heal the wounds of the past.