I cannoli believe i fell out of the wagon. Not off the wagon. I couldnt be more up set with myself. Here i start all over again. That is most fucked up feeling. I had just over 3 moths almost 4 months sober.
5 Likes
Get up and try again don’t sit there and beat yourself up about it do something about it girlll! You’re strong you got this!!! 🫶🏼
3 Likes
Janine, we learn from our relapses. What did I not do? What could I’ve done differently? What could I do more of? Who should I not be around? Where should I go to more often or not at all?
Answers that worked for me and countless others:
- More AA/NA meetings.
- Get sponsored.
- Do the 12 steps to the best of my ability. Then repeat.
- Service in the sober community.
- Be kinder to myself.
1 Like
Janine, you're not starting over, you're back on track. It was simply a blip.
I agree with Ashlee that you should not beat yourself up.
You have had much success to this point, focus on that.
At 3 months a person is well beyond physical dependence.
It's now psychology/sub consciousness, so maybe go back to what you were thinking when you decided to partake and go from there.
It's not you fault!
The alcohol industry has specialized at portraying alcohol as something it is not through commercials, movies, billboards, it's everywhere, the list is very long.
The fact is they know it's addictive and their intensions are that people become that.
Somehow they have managed to get around having to put warnings on the bottle lables of possible side effects which are many.
To name a few, alcohol is addictive, may damage every cell and organ in the human body, may cause loss of consciousness, organ failure, blindness, sudden death, lack of co-ordination, blackouts, heart attack, stroke. Linked to 7 types of cancer.
All they have to put on the bottle is Drink Responsibly.
They know the facts but avoid any accountability and do not care.
They care about sales, profit and popularity.
To them you are nothing more than money.
"KIND OF MADDENING"
After much research I started looking at alcohol through a different lens.
If thoughts of drinking come to mind, I stop and think about the fact that Alcohol is a poison (drink alcohol or drink bleach, same end result, alcohol just takes longer) instead of thinking it is going to be fun and a great feeling or escape.
Dont get me wrong, I Fricking loved the buzz (which became very hard to catch and very short lived)but when I consider having a drink I run some facts that are true to me through my head.
Those facts are:
I started drinking because it was fun. So much fun and it was a great feeling! (as advertised)
I continued drinking until it was no longer fun and I became dependent with bad feelings, mentally & physically.
I'm now aware it will never be fun again, and only produce feelings of guilt and shame!
Sorry for such a long ramble but please recocognize:
There is nothing wrong with you!
You are not the problem!
You are the solution!
You are doing awesome Janine and you are so worth it!
I believe in you, as I'm sure everyone here does as well.
Keep on keeping on!
1 Like
Don't discount that sober time. Remember what worked and what didn't. Glad you're back in recovery.
1 Like