I choose to be sober. Everyday I face challenges from my job, my family, the world and myself. I can tell when this is happening to me because I eat more, or drink more seltzer. I have the thought and the urge to go to alcohol, but I delay and stall. I choose not to drink because the long term guilt, anger, shame will last longer than the buzz. It is not worth it to me. Because of my addiction I find me isolating myself, I think it is to protect me or maybe out of fear of hurting someone. This then makes me feel alone and the the urges come back. It is a cycle that only I can break by my choices. I am just venting.
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Isolation is not good for addicts… I was a big time isolated drinker. The challenges you are facing have always been there, you just have a clear mind now and can acknowledge them, and have to face them. It gets easier. Keep your head up man! Keep doing the good work and sooner than you know you will be able to deal with them in a whole new way.