I continue to emotionally hurt my loving family by drinking. You would think this feeling of shame and failure from getting caught again would be enough to stop. Why can’t I stop?
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When you get sick and tired of being sick and tired you will stop. It’s truly a mental thing. You have to want it bad enough. Your family loves you and only wants the best for you. You have to believe in you like they do. You can do it. It’s not easy but you can. Mind over matter
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You can’t do it alone get a support group like alcoholics anonymous
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Addiction sucks
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Please go to treatment 
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I suggest that you go on Amazon or go to the library & borrow Annie Grace’s book for free. It’s called “This Naked Mind” She’s great!!! Her 2nd book is called The 30 Day Alcohol Experiment. These books are truly game changers!!! She also has an app called the This Naked Mind Companion app which is also free. You can’t stop because you’re addicted but it’s NOT your fault!!! Addiction happens gradually & accidentally but Annie Grace can help you get over it with science & psychology. After going through her program, I no longer have any desire. Without desire there is no temptation. You can do this!!! Good luck!!
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Go to a few Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and see if you can identify with anything you hear.
What you are experiencing is explained in their basic text. It saved my life.
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Thank you all for letting me talk to people who have experience with this and your advice:)
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Hang in there👏
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Oh man, I hid empty booze bottles and pee bottles EVERYWHERE. You're not alone in the guilt, shame, whatever else you're feeling, being not enough.
Nobody can answer why except you.
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RB, I experienced very similar experiences. I finally got to the point where I really wanted to be sober and made my sobriety my number one priority.
Once I did that and worked to real program with a sponsor, everything got easier.
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I can relate to that, and I didn't matter who I hurt, or what tragic, embarrassing, horrible thing I had done. Somehow my brain always convinced me that THIS time it would be different. It's the disease! I would highly recommend going to an AA meeting and sharing exactly what you said here. We've all been there, and when I heard that the members of AA had found a solution, I paid attention!! If you want what we have, and willing to go to ANY length to get it then you are ready to take certain steps.
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It’s called Active Addiction. It’s a Dead End & A Miserable Existence.
SOBRIETY
DOESN'T JUST MEAN DOING YOUR BEST
IT MEANS DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES:bangbang:
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This statement is true for so many people I know and love, including myself!
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