I didn't realize I had a problem for so long. It wasn't until a week ago I realized how much I began to depend on alcohol. It started off as a reward for after work (as I work in the restaurant industry) no matter if the day was bad or good. Over time it became an every other few days, to every other day and then every day within the last year. On my days off I would grab six tall cans and drink them all during the morning and sleep during the evening. I've been missing out on so much and been unable to leave the house on days off, because I was planning to drink. After seven days of sobriety, I noticed psychological withdrawal starting to happen and that's been a little shocking epiphany in itself. It felt like quitting smoking cigarettes and my brain was just screaming for booze. I found something from my past to focus on and every day has become one more reason not to drink, the more I process my journey here. I feel so embarrassed and ashamed, but I'm also so proud that I was able to create the will to do this. I don't know if I want to quit forever, but I'm just worried if I do that it will spiral back into this situation.
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