Day 322 (10 Months, 16 Days)
Seeing, experiencing how deep this rabbit-hole goes . . . Last Friday night I attended my first AA meeting. Actually, I attended 3 meetings back-to-back (I live in NYC and apparently when you walk out of one meeting, someone has the plug for another one across the street 
).
The past 6+ weeks have been among the most life-changing in all of my years in this experience. I began formally engaging the 12-Steps in another room, Debtor’s Anonymous. I say formally because, although I’m at 322 days of being AF, I never engaged AA or any program outside of this community.
A number of people I’d engaged in the DA rooms were encouraging me to check out AA. I was pretty set on not attending an AA meeting ever but I decided to explore it after so many people stated that I should. In fact, I was starting to get annoyed by the consistent you should look into AA talk. In my mind I’m like, FOH, I have 300+ days already, I’m good. In hindsight, it was my ego being resistant to change.
What I learned was that there are levels to my ability to see, know, and understand. While I can appreciate this intellectually, it was a real-time experience of understanding (think Neo in the Matrix when he’s first able to see the code/numbers at the end).
What I also learned was that there’s a significant difference between 322 days alcohol-free on sheer will and 322 days alcohol-free having engaged the wisdom of the 12-Step process.
My journey has evolved in ways that I could never have anticipated and I wish the same for us all. That we can experience new levels as we walk this journey, that we can continually discover more aspects of ourselves to nurture and grow, that we can gratefully be moving towards the highest expressions of ourselves.
It’s becoming more and more evident to me that part of my purpose in this experience is to be of service to and for the greater good. What that will look like moving forward is not yet known by me, but I’m trusting the way will be shown. In the meantime, I continue to be in massive appreciation for all of the ways I’ve been served and poured into by this community. More to come . . . 
