I don’t know who I am anymore! Like my whole identity was taken when I got sober. I have been in active addiction since about age 15 and I am now 45! I don’t know who I am! I don’t know what I’m good at besides partying. Actually, I believe I probably felt alittle like how I feel now when I started. Now I just feel old and like I have now real purpose. I also suffer from social anxiety real bad so it’s hard for me to get out and be around people especially if I don’t know them. So, it has been hard for me to make meetings on a regular in order to get a sponsor. I have been clean over a year and have yet worked the steps. I need friends, a sponsor, and a life again! Please Help!!!
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Stevie, your skin is 45 your emotional system is around 15….i didnt know who i was when i was 15….lol if you remain courageous and very diligent … you will discover slowly who you actually are! Dont worry there is only a beautiful person waiting to be discovered….ive been in your shoes….allow the growth. Keith Kayle
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Thanks for that. Makes since cause I literally feel like once i got sober I looked and I was old and really can’t relate to normal people my age. But thank you I will continue to be patient and remember I didn’t get like this over night and won’t be cured completely over night ! Thanks again
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I absolutely went through this. I was in the music biz and everything from my song writing to the reason why we had the money to operate where because people binged. Be patient as a new you emerges 
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You are very welcome
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Nothing changes if nothing changes. I suggest you get to meetings on a daily basis, get a sponsor and work the steps. There is a solution, and it is found by working the steps. Going to meetings and interacting may be uncomfortable at first, but all that will ease. You will find in the rooms that you are surrounded by people just like you.
Trade in you anxiety for camaraderie.
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This hit home…. I was just thinking this! Same boat Stevie with the same general description. Started young, now 43 with 11 months of sobriety and trying to find my identity. We will find it tho! Sober!!
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I completely can relate to that feeling. I started my addiction in my late 20s and it lasted a long time. I long for friends that aren’t going to tempt me but lift me up. I understand to about the transportation issue I’m in a similar situation. You aren’t alone and every day you are getting stronger. The fact that you have stayed sober without the steps or a sponsor is so impressive. Be proud of your strengths and don’t focus on everything else all at once. It will get better and message me anytime.
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You are whoever you wanna be. That's exciting. It's a new life, enjoy it!
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That inebriated person wasn't really you. You are figuring out who you are now. I totally get it, I should've had at least a master's degree in partying and now I'm dealing with mundane sobriety. It can be hard and frustrating but it's better than that partying life which I don't know about you, but it was literally killing me. Regardless, it was terrible for both your mental and physical health. Sobriety is relearning many things and it's not remotely perfect , but the grass is dead and brown on the other side ....
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You got this! Start slow and take it one day at a time. I have only been going to meetings as a way to meet people because that's the support system I want to surround myself with. I also have social anxiety, but I am chairing a meeting to overcome it. You beat your fears by facing them, we as addicts have done enough hiding. Might want to start with online meetings and work your way up to meetings in person.
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It’s never to late to reinvent yourself. Start to look forward, go listen to Bryan Tracey and write some goals. I promise things will change…
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Ugh, I get the social anxiety thing. It's hard to stay sober, imo, with anxiety. Work helps me get out of my shell, but making friends and being social, sober, is hard for me, it brings me back everytime so far, but I think I'm getting stronger, although I'd like it to happen sooner. Feel free to send me a message! Having someone who understands both issues helps. I'm looking into getting a book that discusses both issues. Good luck to you, I guarantee, we can both do this!!
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I once said how am I going to love without drinking. My first sponsor asked me what age I started, I said 12, he said well the first 12 years you didn’t drink so clearly I know how to live without it, but I can’t do it alone, need all of you and the program to stay stopped, just for today.
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Nobody needs a sponsor. Proceed with caution.
Welcome to recovery and self-discovery. It's a lifelong journey. Personally, I use the 12 Steps of Narcotics Anonymous. I'm finding out that I'm not such a bad person after all.
Thank you Tory I really appreciate your support and understanding
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Anytime if you need someone to talk to I’m here
Thank you Maggie it is better sweet to know others understand these feelings I have. Much love
Thanks Jodie great advice:)