I’m having such a hard time liking anything about myself. I usually love to draw and write and now I can’t even do those things. I hate how I look, i’m too big, I hate taking up space. i’m struggling to find a job. the only structure i have is going to the methadone clinic everyday. I live in a tiny room is a boarding house. I feel like a failure. I can’t string together sober days - I had 78 days sober and relapsed on Thanksgiving and ever since then I’ve been unable to get more than five days together besides a week when I went to detox. i’m a failure. i don’t enjoy doing anything
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I know things might seem tough , but hang in there , your gonna be ok !! I see your a die hard Yankees fan …. Me too!!
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Luna, you’re not a failure. You’re a fighter. Keep grinding, keep believing. I too am a die hard Yankees fan!
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It can get better, u just gotta put the dope down but until then only bad things r usually to come. And it usually gets worse n worse n worse till u have nothing left at all.. I pray u make it throu this, I’m on suboxone I know it’s not the same as methadone, but I’m able to live a sober stable life so I know u can too.. if u wanna reach out u can, I run a Facebook group too it’s called Recovery has Many Roads- MAT included if u need extra support too girl 
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Let’s talk and get to the root of things. When your sober and you relapse. What leads you into doing that? Does something trigger it? A certain thing place? A certain group? A certain smell? So this time around try to figure out what’s causing you to want to use other than addiction and let’s target getting to the root of that. You take care of the roots and you get rid of the tree. If you just chop at it the roots with keep it alive even in dormancy.
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We will love you till you love yourself!
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I went thru same thing n hated myself beyond words ! Best advice I can give u is do not isolate - I hid my addiction after I relapsed n it became my dirty little secret (so I thought but ppl KNEW) for a year. Now I’m 49 days sober yet still struggle w weight loss n looking in mirror n liking myself (I’m gonna be in therapy n support groups the rest of my life cuz they give me hope)
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Early sobriety sucks. Suddenly we feel everything we were suppressing for so long. And if anything we are overly sensitive. I once thought there’s no way I can ever have fun again! But early on I fell in love with an idea. Perhaps I can finally get to know exactly who I am. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll actually get to know another human being. Like for real. I was miserable for a long time but those two ideas kept me moving forward. It was totally worth it! I’m more comfortable in my own skin than I’ve ever been. I have REAL friends. I’m still waiting to get to know someone the way I know myself but I have faith that one day it will happen. Think of the person you want to be and get there! You can totally do this!!!!!
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I missed you Luna. You are a great member of this community. I’m glad you are here.
Sending you all the love 
“You is kind, you is smart, you is important”
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Meetings meetings meetings Samantha
We’ll start loving your self I love u
Well WE sure do love you! I suggest you get to some meetings, find a sponsor to help you work those steps. The steps will help you get to the root of all that self-hate. Give yourself an opportunity to get past this! You’re reaching out via this app, so you obviously want better for yourself. If you don’t love yourself now, then we’ll love you until you can
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You are so beautiful!!! And you are not a failure at all. Please don’t give up!!
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I feel you a 110$ here i understand and yeah your not alone and 5hings have to turn around it's just when and why not now? It's annoying it's like we are our own prisoner.. and by the way you look gorgeous as f¥¢k!
i have so many things i want to tell u! ANY AMOUNT OF CLEAN TIME FOR AN OPIATE ADDICT IS A BIG DEAL!!!!!! im a fentanyl addict and today i made it to 100 days! thats including heroin and meth as well... been to 8 rehabs since december 2021 starting at home in oakland & San Francisco treatments then Orange county Huntington beach, garden grove and santa cruz in all the best rehabs... nothing worked for long... i could never make it past three days without fentanyl...i wud be crawling by that point... i had to hit rock bottom and fall thru the floor even farther.. losing everything including my kids..
i got an opportunity to move to oregon and sober up at some frans w hella sober time place.. i slept for a week, puking, shitting, sweating, didnt eat a single thing.. i was all bones and my face picked out like ah mf!
i went thru it all and embraced the pain with absolutely no meds for the first time.....
i want to remember how awful it was... n hopefully stay away from it this time..
ive only made it past 90 days twice... and ive been an addict for 28 yrs.. i want to set a bigger goal and maybe one day mean it when i say i wont ever use again...
i have gained 30 lbs and have my booty back. i am very uncomfortable but i see i get even more attention when im sober and looking healthy!! u are absolutely beautiful girl, what matters right now is u are not giving up!! i have some more things i gata share with u!! XOXOXOXOXO
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You are not a failure you're resilient it takes b***s to look at yourself in the face and say I have a problem I need help and you're doing it you're working the program right work the program that works for you right that's supposedly the same cuz I'm new to this but I have my demons myself so just you stick in there you're resilient you'll get there
You are a gorgeous woman. Dont ever underestimate your self. Dont ever think that you are a failure. You are more than that and you should be thankful.
thank you all so much for the responses. i needed that. i missed this community i need to be here more. it helped me so much when i had those 78 days
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None of the past matters now, you don’t live there anymore. Each day is a new beginning a chance to work on ourselves to grow and move forward. You never have to live and or regret the past mistakes because everyday you wake up sober, is a chance to work on your best self. Our disease likes to whisper all these negative thoughts and emotions hoping to draw us back in but as long as you don’t put it in you it can’t hurt you, and everyday away from substances is a another successful day. You are doing the thing just by choosing to stay sober and reach out. I’m proud of you and you CAN DO THIS