Let go of your will and believe in gods will, that’s what helps me get thru everyday. Trust in your faith and strength it has gotten you this far thru addiction and into the recovery you stand in. Believe me I know how easy to feels to run from feeling but being present is a gift, cherish in that.
Best wishes for you and yours!
There’s a group called Al-Anon Family Groups for families of alcoholics. There’s a group called Nar-Anon for families of drug abusers. Everyone there is going thru or been thru the pain of a loved one’s addictions..there tends to be more Al-Anon than Nar-Anon..if you find Al-Anon, just substitute alcohol for drugs..
I’m so sorry, I hope with time it gets better for u!
I am a child of an alcoholic father and a mother who abused her ability as an RN to obtain medication. My father was absent physically and my mother mentally. I worked through this stuff on Step 4. Don’t get me wrong; I still get those aggravating moments when I cringe at the sound of an argument and I still avoid confrontation to a point. However, it’s easier now to not be angry at my deceased parents anymore. I don’t blame them I just contribute my behavior to the lack of coping skills I had as a child, teenager, adult. Every now and then I go back and Ten Step to get any enlightenment of my well being. I would be easy to say, “just get over it,” but it doesn’t work that way as you probably know. My biggest fear was becoming my mother and to an extent I did during my active addiction. I also did EMDR and it helped a lot. Hope this helps.
I understand, sometimes this all seems like bullcrap, but God's knows your struggle your pain and suffering.
He knows and loves you.
That's all I got.
Thanks again everyone for the great support and concern. My 23 year old kid returned home that following day, and they have been feeling much better. We had a few good conversations, and I’m feeling a little less fearful. I tend to overreact/overthink when loved ones express their strong emotions. I’m earning to live life on life’s terms ODAAT. The only way to grow is to stay present and face each challenge. Practice practice practice
My story is a complete replicate of mine. We can do it. Stop the addiction and be by her side. I thought I was. But did a lot of avoiding. That’s what we do. Good luck.
We complicate it
People can't help themselves. They HAVE to drivel on about "gods will". OP even asked not to hear about it. Pushy.
Anyway, George Carlin will put "Gods will" into perspective for you:
This is the last place I expected to see a Carlin fan. F yeah!!
You were on the right road, keep the faith till the end
George Carlin really put things into perspective.
it’s interesting reading from your perspective because i’m 22 so i relate to your child. i feel like i just read my dads thoughts kinda sorta like the part of worry about if your child is ok, and what’s going to happen and having to be there for your mentally draining wife.
I “break down” / vent cry to my parents A LOT. i’ve realized though looking back, i might have been having extreme crying episodes so that my parents would notice me, even tho i’m an only child they aren’t emotionally there for me at all. So, i would act out and have extreme emotions so that they would listen and get it. I’ve told them countless times how suicidal I am, and they stare at me like they don’t understand. I believe a parent and child will NEVER be on the same page. There is no language or express what i am feeling to them. they do not get it. they do not understand.
You will never fully “understand” your child but a hug goes a long way. Im at a stage,level, universe,lifestyle even in my life and you are at a different one. as simple as that, we are not on the same page, it’s impossible.
Appreciate your reply Two. I also value your input. A lot of good things have happened since this post. My kid is in a much better place. You said a lot of things that are very true… they are facts. These challenges have, in some way, have shown me where I need to grow. I’m realizing more and more that my kids (and wife too) have their own journeys. At this time I only need to love and support them (mostly emotionally, but a little financially…unfortunately lol). I’ve been so full of fear, not wanting them to suffer, wanting to shield them from life’s pains, overcompensating in so many ways. My wife and I are literally suffocating them. It all comes from fear. It’s as if I don’t trust them (or the universe). I’m learning to let this all go. I’m learning to let them be. It’s been liberating, and helped our relationship tremendously. It makes my life much easier now that all I really need to do is love them. Don’t get me wrong, I fall back into old behavior all the F’n time, but I’m recognizing it, and readjusting.