I don't know how to just let go and relax without my binge drinking. I really don't. I'm not good at this carp.
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It gets easier 
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I'm calmed down a bit now. There is so much to navigate in life. Lol My sponsor seriously doesn't give a siht. I will ride something out forever. A person has to f me over so severely before I walk away. My default is that I'm not trying hard enough, I'm giving up too soon, etc etc. I'm going to have to listen to my intuition and find a sponsor who actually wants to sponsor me. Anyway, I'm not drinking, and my moment of insanity has mostly passed.
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Staying busy and exercise helps me a lot to get through those really tuff moments. There's nothing wrong with finding a new sponsor. Or talking with someone else. Holler at me anytime
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