I dont know if i can live and stay clean. Ive been to countless rehabs and i always end up in the same position. I want to get off drugs and stay off but how? How does one stay clean? I dont have a local support system and i struggle with NA. I dont want this life style anymore.
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To me it's a mindset if you want it you can do it. I promise it'll get better keep pushing. Also you need get you a support group if NA isn't working find a celebrate recovery. I wish you the best
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Everyone is different. The one universal thing is a desire to truly stay clean and sober. If you have that you are already on the right path. Depending on what drugs etc your body is used to. Length of time using etc will dictate the best route of treatment. NA and AA meetings work. Sometimes meetings are just part of a larger recovery plan. MAT, IOP, counseling etc. If you have no support system in place, meetings are usually the best place to find those who started in similar situations as yourself. In the same town etc and found a way. This is where the experience of others around you comes into play. Simply put, all of us addicts had times when we couldn't find our drugs of choice. Hammered the phone calling dealer after dealer or working hard to scrape up the money we needed for our next fix. I know you have been there. We all have. If you put in the same effort giving all you have to stay clean and sober like we all did when trying to stay high you will succeed. Reach out anytime. Hope this helps
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I'm in agreement that you're DRINKING AND USING CAREER HAS BEEN RUINED AND RECOVERY HAS BECOME VERY PERSONAL FOR YOU. I got clean at 23. Thought My life was over. I did 40 MONTHS OF DRUG AND ALCOHOL TREATMENT AND DIAGNOSED AS A MIDDLE STAGE WETBRAIN ALCOHOLIC WITH A DRUG problem. THE first few years were TOUGH. BUT BETTER IN ALL RESPECTS. TODAY IM IN YEAR 37. I AM A WARRIOR ENTREPRENEUR AND MY LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE IN A VERY BIG WAY. BECAUSE I NEVER QUIT WHEN THINGS GOT TOUGH. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION IF YOU NEED TREATMENT. GO. I DEFINITELY WASN'T ABLE TO DO IT BY MYSELF. AND GUESS WHAT. I STILL HAVEN'T FOUND A REASON TO DO IT ALL BY MYSELF. IM AT THE GYM RIGHT NOW WORKING OUT. AND GETTING READY TO GO TO NEW YORK TOMORROW TO WORK ON MYSELF. IM COMMITTED TO LIVE MY FULL LIFE OUT.. 
PERCENT SOBER. I NO LONGER HAVE A DRINKING AND USING CAREER. I HAVE A THINKING CAREER. TRUST THE PROCESS. PUT GOD FIRST. YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE
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Love and respect for you Thomas. Thanks for sharing your struggles. You have to put in the work brother no matter what little by little keep putting in work. This right here is part of that. Your story reminds me of a dark time in my own path. Believe you can do it and it will start happening.
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Stop doing the drugs, that's how. Super simple. It's really only as hard as we make it on ourselves. Go to AA instead, those steps work if you work then. There are other paths as well but really... Just stop putting that shït in your body.
You can do this. It takes work and a support network. If NA doesn't work for you maybe you could do some zoom meetings
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Thomas, you are not alone. I was a chronic relapser for many years. Until I made my sobriety my number one priority over finance, romance and even family! I did not like AA, NA, CA or any sober program. But I finally gave AA my 110% and decided that I would go to in person meetings 3 times daily and not let my addiction/ego deter me no matter what! I got involved and participated, got multiple sponsors and did the steps multiple times.
15+ years of solid sobriety now and so grateful!
I’m here if you want to talk.
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I'm just gonna lay it out there.That that in our addiction are prograthings are mine.Tells us we have to be a one way and our bodies act another way There is a book that I am waiting for it's by jb Benoit He does have a few audio recordings on here.One of them is titled the 12 steps isn't for everyone.It might help you out I.Would check it out.He also wrote a book called the monkey mind It is a book that I am anticipating on listening you.He does have some great points.That might help you in your situation
Not that simple. Maybe you don't understand what being an addict is. It means you're addicted.
I'm not trying to trivialize the work involved. But it is as simple as not doing it. Reprogramming our brains to not want it is the best way, but the only way to quit is to not do it again.
Didn't mean to be insensitive brother, but just call it what it is: something you don't want. If you're not there yet, then work on getting there. In the mean time, don't put that shït in your body and don't make excuses.
You can do! Don't stop trying....