I don't need advice or anything...just need to vent. I'm sick and tired of people telling me how to grieve or I'm not grieving the way they do. I'm not sleeping much...even when doped up on my night time meds... I'm still not sleeping much because when I close my eyes,I see my Aunt's cold dead body. I see her sick with the cancer. My moods and emotions are all over the place. I'm struggling to stay sober even though I haven't had a slip up. My heart is missing a huge piece that will never be replaced or filled. No one is this world can ever replace my Aunt who was like a mom to me. My life and my heart is falling apart and I'm doing everything to keep my sh*t together but I'm not well. My mind and emotions and feelings are all over the place and I'm angry,hurt,heart broken,grieving. To grieve is one thing but to be a male who has drug and alcohol addictions plus a long list of mental illnesses makes it so much tougher because of the fact that it's like losing a parent all over again. My Aunt was a mom to me and she treated me like her own son and since I was a born,we were very close and I can't even look at her photos right now. I don't even want to think. I'm not ready to face my feelings and emotions head on just yet. I'm not strong. I'm vulnerable and feel like I'm losing myself all over again.
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