I don't think nobody understands or knows how hard it is to get up every single day and face trauma from PTSD from going through all of the horrible things that keep trying to break you nobody knows it because nobody sees it and those are the stories that people with trauma don't tell we hide we shelter ourselves we going to survival mode would most doctors would call fight or flight we don't trust anybody around us we hide nobody understands or sees that part they blame us for the change in US but they never blame the pain that they put you through this is something that I deal with on a daily basis and I get up every day thanking God for giving me another day because I laid in bed at night wanting to die or asking him to take my life because I'm tired of hurting so bad and I've cried so much I don't want to cry anymore so I play hard and I put on this Mass exterior because I have no choice but to survive because without me my kids have no one else left the family died the day that they tried to kill me and I don't think they understand what they have done because I don't know how to describe it I don't know how to make it into words so they can understand it but they have no idea what I have to live through and what I have to take my children through because of what they put me through so when people look at me and you tell me that you don't believe in God I shake my head in a smile because if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be hearing your face today I don't know how to tell my story so people will leave me alone all I know how to do is to get through each day pretty much each minute of every day because of the hatred that I face and go through every single day and I don't think nobody gets that part I go through stuff that I would never be able to live down for as long as I breathe and I did nothing to deserve it that's the messed up part about it
Pleased to meet you. I'm going through something now too. Afte suicide attempt when I 24, I was diagnosed with a mental illness, they changed the diagnosed, medication that could've put me in a wheelchair for life, and of course, self-medicating the whole time
, I now recognize my condition as a form of autism, and yeah, it's not easy. But the real strength you are looking for is already within 
you, you just need to learn to trust your enough to tap into into it, through peaceful time alone, meditation, and trust in life itself. What you're looking for is not out there, it's already inside you. If it wasn't, you wouldn't still be here. Trust in yourself, trust the program, if you're using it, and if you are in the program, use it, and really use it. Ask questions, ask other members, and always, if you're so natured, ask God, because He's always there for you, for us,,for all of us. And I'm here for you, if you should feel thr need. I'm lonely too, but realize that you are your own best friend, and I am your friend too 
I do understand 2722138117 call if you need to talk I understand trauma because I work through it daily
The key is to not isolate open up even if it’s just to your sponsor .
I found it was easier to lean on people who were new to sobriety because we understood each other
Welcome to my world. I can and will be there for others. I will show you, on the outside, I have it together yet on the inside I'm hurting, I'm a freaking train wreck yet I still persevere. I'm relentless. As long as I work a solid program and incorporate the 12 steps and traditions in my daily affairs great events will come my way.
Thank you for sharing this.