I dont understand all i wuna do is cry. I want to be sober but here i sit and struggle with trying to find a fix! Like im split into 2 different people fighting to simply survive
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It's one small step at a time, I struggled at first and now I'm 303 day in an I feel great compared to being under the influence, so hang in an keep at it.
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The devil don't want to see you clean but you got to know that GOD don't want to see you in the darkness he wants better for you so your light can shine.Trust me I've been there 36 years but now I'm cleaning and sober if I can do it you can to
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I am going though this as well right now it's hard I mess up but I have found that if I keep my mind busy with true friends and people or things to do Productively I tend to forget about using and next thing I know I made it though the day and am starting the next day of being clean I have had to start of so many times it's not funny but I still try so you can to you got this good luck in everything on your plate
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How did you make it though the very bad days that's were I mess up all the time
Out of sight out of mind so you have to keep your mind busy on something else. I got super curious about business and I’ve been studying it for almost 3 years now find something you enjoy and dive deep learn everything you can about it. Start creating content start finding hobbies get curious about life Start writing 
I know it’s difficult in the beginning, but I don’t even think about it anymore. We have to focus our minds on something else. I pray that you find that thing that you can zone in and distract yourself long enough to stop thinking about it and realize that you don’t need it
I was a drug addict at one point in my life. It was a weekend thing for a while then became like almost 3 or days is the week. I was destroying my love life my relationship with friends and family. I wasn't as good at my job at times as well but things changed thank God.... I got pulled over after buying some crack from a crack head. .... I made it worse for me because I didn't pull over right away because I was scared and paranoid and wanted to get closer to home but nah I still got my car towed and went to jail anyway and been out on a PR bond since. But I've been sober since. going on a 10 or 11 months and I thank God that I got pulled over because I was abusing that drug allot and making our lives miserable.... What's Brooke and borrowing to get by and now I'm doing well. I asked God to give me the will power to change and take that craving away from me because I didn't want to loose my life out be in jail and loose my relationship I've been in for 10 years. I'm a happier and healthier person and been blessed in so many ways and I give an the thanks to God because he's been and will always be my Savior. You have to really want a better life and do your pay in order for the Lord our Savior so God part because there's no other way to it. Believe this, life is way way better when you can push that devil aside and walk with God and praise him.... Trouble will come but it's up to you to know what to do. Do the right thing please. God bless you and he loves you.
God night to all that's reading this
God
I know your struggling nothing worth anything is ever easy but you have to tell yourself your worth it don’t give up there’s going to come a time when you will look back on this and tell yourself you did it 
I think many of us can understand the internal struggle moments before sobriety. Those moments could last days or even years, but right before sobriety, there’s a part of you that doesn’t want to get sober. It’s the part that craves the drug or drink—the one that makes you feel good in the moment. But that feeling is just smoke and mirrors because it doesn’t last. It’s artificial.
What you truly want is real, tangible, and lasting—something that will give you peace of mind. You can only find that in sobriety. So, when that craving feels stronger, that’s when you rise up and say, “No. I want this for me. I deserve this, and I am worthy of this journey.”
Sobriety is the best gift. You will get to a point where that gift is what keeps you going because you will remember where you came from. Do not give up.
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Ashley, you’re not alone. There is my ego/addiction persona and there is my free/happy & sober persona that was locked in battle.
Stay the course, get serious about your program. The sober you will get stronger and stronger.
I’m here if you want to talk
By you reaching out & letting others in show's me your more on the side of staying sober... you are and can do it 
believe in yourself we all do 
Baby steps and breaths my friend. I know you can steer this in the right direction, one bit at a time.
You find something to get your mind to combat the feelings of wanting to drink an or drug, I fought both with my PTSD from military service I self medicated so I found taking long walks an admiring nature was a way to lose the feelings
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When you go into nature you end up reconnecting your soul to mother earth and it rejuvenates you and gives you a high that drugs and alcohol can never give
I feel this to my core right now. I've been relapsing for a month and that split thinking is overwhelming. 
Yuppers.
I know. Like real spit, me too. I know too, that when I am sober I can tell the difference in myself and I know that I genuinely like me a whole lot more, and like me that level of like way-way more too!
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Idk. It's like everyday gets realer and realer of how I almost naturally track race relay run as quick as I can toward "all signgs", the magic 8-ball point to: Futile! Red Flag! You are not end-resulting coming out a winner, winner in this one; instead: the "chicken dinner " for which you were just-so preyed upon and apparent are welcomingly about to be subjectly, pointedly prey instead of the winner-winner, in total opposition with THAT stupid chicken dinner association.
I have 2 years and I’m just now starting to cry 
I was so numbed out