Last night was my friends 21st bday celebration. I said I’m just gonna get club soda and I’ll be the dd. I end up drinking within the first 10 min I’m at the first bar and by the end of the night I hit my friends dab pen. It could’ve been worse but it was like as soon as my mouth touched one drink I wanted to feel the most ducked up possible. So dumb 
We with addictive personalities can’t have just one of anything. Hope it’s a good lesson learned. Forgive and move on. Keep doing your best. Helps to make new friends who are sober.
I've done the same stuff more time than I can count but at some point when you fall try an use it as a lesson it took me a long to be able to do that I could always talk myself into it "I can have one beer because I've been sober for a year " an the next thing I know is I got a 8 ball of coke in my pocket the best I did was 23 months an now I'm on month 4 it can be done just have to learn to stay away from people places an things that trigger you an it all works out better
You made it through alive sweetie.. I call that a win
Next time you try shoot a prayer up to your higher power before entering the bar asking for the strength to abstain and make sure your spiritual ground is firm and also bring something to keep your hands and mouth busy. The dab pen probably did you in. I find complete abstinence better than partial abstinence
Good thing to stay out of slippery situations. Do a self check in is this a slippery situation or not if it is stay away. I apologize for the bluntness yet you’ll be a grateful in your recovery. The way I see it is when you put yourself in a slippery situation you can ease I could get easily angered that I could not drink even if I didn’t.
You don’t wanna sit in it. But at a certain point you are going to alter your life so much with your addiction, that will give anything to take your sobriety serious. We all get there a different way. For me it took a divorce, a custody battle, losing my job, and breaking my back. I just pray your awakening moment isn’t that extreme. Praying for you always. Justin.