I embarrass myself every time I drink. I’m ruining my life. I have so many legal issues. I just want to be sober and stop & become a better women and change.
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Self awareness is the first step, if you can admit it is causing you problems, you can do something about it. Start going to AA meetings in your area, share your feelings about your drinking. Talk to people there. Get a sponsor. It really is a much better alternative to drinking I have been sober for more than 10 years just doing it one day at a time. You only have to worry about it one day at a time.
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What Matthew said. We all of us have only one day. What do you have for a support system right now? Have you tried a meeting?
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The good news is, you do not have to suffer that horrific embarrassment again if you do not drink that first drink. Whatever fantasy the alcoholic has that one day she can drink like her normie pals, have two drinks, and call it a night, must meet the reality that the alcoholic lacks the off switch that tells a reasonable person they have consumed enough organic solvent for the moment, and that no amount of alcohol will ever be enough to stop the phenomenon of craving, once triggered. The shared experience, strength, and hope we gain in sharing our recovery with others like us is greater than the Disney-movie myth of powerful self determination.
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You are so right
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Extremely well said 
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We all been there it nothing to be embarrassed about forget the past everyday is new day
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Aa . Org 90 meetings in 90 days .meet people.nothing will change at all.longer you go the harder it gets.stay sober.
You can do it you have support here. Start today 
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Bartender might not be the job for you
Welcome! Next step go to an aa meeting! The best and easier way.