I failed today it's like whenever I get money I end up using get drunk and end up to th other things. I realized plm use me for that and I didn't realize it. It hurts alot and I'm sick of this cycle. I truly think I'm trying to feel something that I wish could last forever but it always temporary like they say. I look at myself and don't see sierra anymore I see a sorry person who want to love themselves for once. I can't even look myself in th mirror anymore and b happy.. Well idk what do anymore cuz this has to be put to an end. I want say Im proud myself for once. How many times did u guys relapse til you finally said you had enough.? 
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Day one. Then two, then three. Be good to yourself. Look for the things that bring you joy and then do those things.
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Ok I will thank u