I feel as though I’m not doing my best and it makes me mad I hear all the time that at least your trying but then the illusions of success disappear and I have to ask myself am I really worth the happinesses of someone In sobriety, it makes me wanna go see my best friend mr Daniels and i know that is only going to make matters worse but who is there other than good ol jack?
Any advice is welcome any words of wisdom
Lavonta, that’s why we connect with others in recovery. I connect with AA people. They have become my family. They are warm and friendly and they are always happy to see me. They take care of me and show me the way and I do the same for them. Give some meetings a try. If you don’t like the first one, try another. Keep going and you will feel connected. You don’t have to go see Mr Daniels. F him. Go see real friends. You are worth it.
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I know the feeling but picking up that bottle will just make those feelings magnify and you don’t need that. The cravings will pass. Go to a meeting or call a friend. That’s what I’ve been doing when I feel that way.
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Your not alone !! We are here , god is with you always , definitely get a network of sober people for sure !! Give yourself some grace also !!! And you are definitely worth the fight !! Let the blessings begin !!!
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The longer I am here the more I realize it’s not about Jock or Jose 
It’s about digging into why you feel the need to hang with those bad boys. If you are avoiding meetings then you are avoiding some strong emotions. That’s okay, but the reason you are here is because you want to finally deal with those emotions and move past them. You are going to find many people who have taken that path already and want to help you at meetings. You will certainly find some people you connect with. Get busy pretty lady!
Hey Lavonta! Thank you for your post. Good for you for recognizing there is no problem so big that a drink or a drug won’t make it worse. You hang in there! And Renee, Star4, Aaron, and Shawn O are spot on!
Oh Lavonta, what a vulnerable reflection, thank you for sharing. It’s interesting the streak of perfection that exists in many of us, and as you have so clearly stated, perfectionism comes from shame. I’m here to tell you there is no perfect in life, as a recovering perfectionist I now strive for enoughness, and it works. You are so worthy of everything you receive and work for. You got this, keep on the path!