Hi Ash, relapse doesn’t have to be a part of your story. Many don’t come back from a relapse. Whatever you focus on becomes the greater, try just one day at a time. Nobody glorifies relapse, pay attention to the message that they deliver. Sobriety isn’t the focus, recovery from a hopeless state of mind is. You will get stronger wait for the miracle. You will stop obsessing, that’s when gratitude takes over. Keep reaching out, you will hear something that’s relatable.
You’re not a horrible person, you’re human. Fear of relapse is real. The work you’ve done still matters, no matter how you got here. Maybe now is the time to focus on staying sober for you too. We’re here for you.
Sounds like a conviction to work the steps? Or what do you think you could do more for your recovery? Look toward to what the benefits are for you and for you as a parent. Our motivation does matter but you don't have to feel bad about yourself ffor being better for your kid. That's admirable.
Ash, you have fear because you face desires that you aren't confident that you can overcome.
I urge you to find a good program that works (well enough) for you. I live in the country bc I want to successfully avoid the temptations of my disease. Some days, I feel fake. MostndaysnI just chose.to feel sober and successful.