I feel like allot of expectation. From myself and others. The pressure can be irritating. Lately at meetings the subjects lead me into some PTSD, I have CPTSD, and I withdraw inside myself. I know that sharing will help me heal but I don't want to get close to anyone. I do but I don't. I'm tired of getting hurt. I know I'm safe by myself. God won't let me down. It's hard. Everyone in my life betrayed my trust and hurt me and my wife left me for my best friend and then they had me jailed for 5 1/2 months before I was able to prove my innocence. I'm still sober and that's beautiful but I find it hard to be vulnerable in meetings. Im going to break down and cry like really bad if I do and Im scared to let anyone in but God. If you relate what helped you?
I have no trust for anyone. They just take advantage. I've been alone a long time. But it is better.
I try to remember to have GOBS of self compassion that this recovery thing takes time. Things I must earn. My “Friend” she has all these expectations for “Us” What other people expect is on them. I’m here for recovery. I always share the main problem is centered in my mind and there is two kinds of business My business and none of my business.