I feel like I’m drowning. I’m a single mom of a 6yr old boy and I have zero help from his father (ex husband). I found out a few days ago that my county decided to shorten the summer and start school several weeks early, which messes everything up. His birthday is also this month on the 25th. I thought I had more time to figure out how I’m going to afford school clothes/supplies and a few gifts for his birthday, but now there’s not enough time to make both of them happen. I just spent every dollar I had to make sure he gets to eat. I try so hard but I’m falling short this time. I’ve been in recovery since June 17, 2019 and I try my best everyday, but right now I feel like an awful mother. My inability to fully provide is making my son suffer. He doesn’t understand that I’m poor. He doesn’t understand that he’s going to get ripped off for his birthday. He doesn’t understand that he’s not going to get any new clothes this year. I’m just struggling to stay afloat right now. My mom tries to help when she can, but she’s struggling right now too. The guilt I feel is weighing on me like a boulder. It physically hurts. I’m trying my best to do right by my boy and give him the best life I can and I’m falling short. I’m just having a really hard time. That’s all.
Are you ok? For the now???
I’m trying to be okay. I’m just so stressed it’s making me sick. Just trying to figure stuff out is all, it’s very hard.
Tell me about it.. I just got out of jail today
Getting out seems better than being in! I hope your transition to the outside world is smooth and you’re able to figure your stuff out too!
I'm already at an oxford house for a few nights at least to start
I messaged you
Thank you for your kind words! More times than not, I feel like I’m doing him more harm than good, even though I know that’s not true. I’m sober and present and that counts for something, right? My financial situation isn’t great. My son doesn’t go without, but he doesn’t get a lot of extras either. I do get help from family when I need it, but I HATE asking for help because I hate feeling indebted to people. Luckily though, food and a place to live has never been an issue, so for that I’m extremely grateful. I know my situation could be worse by not having a safe place for my son and I to live, or not having food to eat, but security in those things doesn’t take the stress of everything else away. I know I just have to keep moving forward, even if it feels like I’m stuck in place. Again, thank you for your kind words!
I can understand how you feel because my kids are my life. I’m living in a tent right now with my kids, trying to stay clean and survive. We have money to get a place, but no one who will rent to us because our landlord made up lies and evicted us. It’s hard because we want to give our kids the world but the world makes it hard. And currently Trying to explain to my kids why we have to live in a tent. It’s thundering , muddy, been raining for hours now and until tomorrow night.
Take what clothes he’s outgrown and sell them to a thrift store. While you’re there, buy his back to school wardrobe at the thrift store. Call up your phone/cable/internet provider and sign up for the student discount. If you have Amazon prime, sign up for their student discount. If you haven’t already done so, sell off your engagement ring and wedding band. Your ex won’t help, so you’re gonna have to help yourself.