I feel like I’m never going to get sober. The mental cravings is what gets me every. single. time. Opioids are killing my spirit, but I’m only happy when I take them. I just want to stop! I just want to be normal again. It’s been years and it just keeps getting worse. I can get through 6 days without (my nightshift work schedule) then boom, the days I’m off I immediately get drugs and I am so excited. I use because I don’t want to think anymore. I hate thinking. I just want my mind to shut off and leave me alone. I can’t stand my mind, it’s my worst enemy. Please God give me strength to really stop this time. Please. I am so weak mentally. I can’t do this anymore yet I always do it again and again and again.
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