I feel so alone and isolated. Everything I used to do revolved around alcohol. Now I don't do anything other than work and watch movies. I am just about 8 months sober and feel like life is passing me by. Then the anxiety kicks in and my brain starts churning. I tell myself I am too old to start a family, I think about all the good times, my friends don't like me because I abandoned them, the shame of everything I have done, and on and on... I mean I am amazed at all I have done in just 8 months and have a dream job with my dream company but I am missing connections, a social life and that special someone I have not yet met but don't even give myself the opportunity to do so because I am isolated and alone. I have so much love to give but I keep it stuffed away.
man get connected with some people that are just like you. theres so much in recovery to do like conventions and meetings and event. im just speaking from experience i had 9 months sobriety at one point but i was miserable because i isolated like that. i had to get some relief somehow and eventually got high again. but today i get relief from the program and getting involved it really helps being around other addicts the more i get involved the less i think about my problems and it makes me more positive. just thought id share that man. keep your head up
Mike, I totally feel your story and please know you’re not alone. I would say a lot of us were/are similar. It’s tough starting over, I was in my late 40’s. It’s a hard time to make new connections and friends. If your not involved with some sober fellowship, then that’s the first place. Then it’s a matter of getting out there outside your comfort zone. Volunteer somewhere, get involved with a club/church/whatever. I know it’s easier said than done because I struggle with it too. Being sober, things are good and feeling like life is passing you by. Don’t let it.
Thanks Skot! I really should go back to meetings it was all the same people and mostly old timers that were very judgemental. I feel so great about everything I have achieved but have no one to share it with. 
Meetings first everyday for a year then hobbies.any one said this was easy.does not now what there talking about.it is a lot of work.but at thee end we get to in joy what we all have done together . Aa pleas keep it simple.
Thanks man, very much appreciated! 
Connection connection connection even if it is online there is a zoom meeting daily @ 6:30 pm eastern time
zoom id 9680049132
Pw compassion
Very chill, safe, judgement free zone,
I fight loneliness on a daily basis. What keeps me going and staying positive is connecting with other people going through the same thing. I love going to meetings and spending time with people I’ve met in the program. Online meetings are great but look and see if there are any in person you can try out.
same here. it’s only been two weeks for me tomorrow, but it’s been lonely. EVERYTHING I used to do involved alcohol. I have one friend left near home, the other is a few hours away. my online meeting is great but it’s not the same. I’m thinking of joining a home group to meet some new people. here to chat if you just want to talk about our days.
I know exactly how you feel. It was me right after my divorce when I lost all my supposed friends. I had to learn to truly love myself, date myself, and work Steps 1-3: having a relationship with HP. I’m talking to HP all the time…angels, deceased loved ones, spirit guides,…even “spirit animals” that cross my path and their messages they carry for me. This may sound a little wacky, but I’ve had 12th Step spiritual awakenings happen all the time!! Look for spiritual awakenings. Listen for them. Feel them. Know that they are there for you to remind you you are never alone. There’s no such thing as coincidence-it’s a synchronicity when that phone rings from someone you were just thinking about.
I can’t say enough about meditation. It’s opened so many doors for me in profound ways. For me, way better than drugs.
Ask for help from your HP. “Manifest” friends. Write what you’re looking for in a friend. I just started journaling-just three minutes. Apparently it helps clear fear and opens you up to creativity!
Pursue your own dreams and deal with your own demons. No one else will do the work for you…but it’s worth it!!
I agree with everyone else on meetings-look for the ones with fellowship. Opposite of addiction is connection (it’s a TedTalk!)
Hey, are you me? Everything, and I mean everything you just described I have been feeling for months now. I just hit nine months, and just let me tell you, you are not alone in these feelings.
Good for you. I go a couple times a week for the fellowship, I don’t work any program or have a sponsor. If you want those things, great, but don’t let them stop you from going for the fellowship, it makes a huge difference.
I need to get to live meetings. Social anxiety and projection has kept me but I will and I know it will be great when I find a home group where I just moved to. It’s tough for me to explore to find a home group but have to. In the meantime I still go on my old home group back home and love the 24/7 international meeting. The people are great and you can go on anytime and generally there are at least 150 people on!
Don’t think u can open above but Google Flying Sober for the 24/7 meetings if u want.
I feel the same at times. I try to remind myself how the days I did drink of all the stupid things I did and how embarrassed I was. How much it hurt me more than I realized. Now I am proud of where I am and I use that every to get me going. I also have lost friends, but if alcohol is all that connected us them maybe those weren’t the healthiest of friendships bc it brought out the worste in me in an odd way..
I enjoy being alone and daily soberness… no more hangovers, my kids don’t see mom passed out on couch (they probably didn’t realize thought I just sleeping). I do anything that brightens my spirits. Play music, sit outside and sip on NA drinks (I enjoy them…). It’s my new life and a renewed life. The past lift was going to kill me. I enjoy the fitness level I’m at, my skin, better sleep, $$ saved. The list goes on. There are way more enjoyable things in life we can surround ourself with and find happiness in. When I look around at others that are drinking (excessively) I feel sad for them… bc that used to be me. I do miss sipping on wine when eating out not going to lie!!! That’s probably been the hardest but step by step I’ll get there.
Like a lot of us, our social lives revolves around booze. A lot of our country’s identity seems to be tied up in alcohol and related events. I felt it, we all did. Especially when it was new to us. The good news is there is a world without alcohol. Find some like-minded people. You may lose some friends, but think about what you’re gaining. If your friendships needed alcohol, were they strong friends anyway?
12 years out, I have no regrets. This may sound tough, but we’re tough. Booze was always the easy way out.
Wow, there are a LOT of great comments here. I didn't read every single one, but let me share some of my experience. I go to meetings (NA). I have a sponsor and work a 12 Step program (also NA). Most of my friends are in recovery. They're good people who are my friends because they care about me. They support me too. Getting lonely and having those kind of feelings are common amongst people recovering from drugs, alcohol (also a drug), toxic relationships, process addictions, etc. It's important to have a close relationship with people who know you and support you. That's what I have built for myself. I always need to remember to use it!
Lots of great comments. I am now at 11 months still going strong. Thanks everyone for the kind words!
Hey there. I’m just about 8 months sober and I’m doing the exact same thing as you. We’re going through the same thing. Good to know I’m not alone. We just need to hang in there. Things can only go up from here🙂