I feel trapped, but I am fighting to change that

Struggling Help
#1

I feel trapped, but I am fighting to change that mindset.

Ever since I moved in January, I relapsed on weed after not smoking for 3 months. I’ve had serious problems with weed and have given myself CHS at least 50 times. Even when I damage my own body, that doesn’t stop me.

I’ve had episodes where I can stop for a little, but since January, the longest I’ve gone without weed is 17 days. Yeah. Not that long. But god did it feel like forever, every time.

I’m starting again, this is my 3rd day off. I really would like to make it past 17 days. I’ve got to stop. Every time I get off I get horrible withdrawals, I really can’t get why I put myself through this.

#2

I will share what my first sponsor said to me when we shook hands for the very first time:

"I don't know ya, but I know ya."

That simple statement saved my life. Stopping alone is more painful and isolating and lonely than a human being is built to endure.

Stopping with support, and love, and encouragement from a Tribe who are (or have been) you makes all things possible.

"I can't, we can."

2 Likes
#3

Thank you so much. We can!

#4

I believe in you Zachary. Everyone who is seeking abstinence and the recovery lifestyle believes in you regardless of whether or not they ever read this post or this blog. That is the joy of the Tribe.

#5

Ditto