I feel triggered 
my heart hurts and I have horrible anxiety. My father died in February and he was estranged... My siblings reach out and I never know what to say
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Work the 11th step. It will help.
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Message me if I can help at all. Been working through a lot anxiety lately
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Have you been working with a sponsor? This would be something I'd be working closely with my sponsor on. I've had family members pass during my sobriety and I had to do some serious step work around this. I found I had alot of fear surrounding their passing. I was able to identify how that fear effected me in many different areas of my life. Stepwork and a relationship with higher power gave me the willingness to accept things and move through the fear in a healthy way.
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I need a sponsor. I haven't had a drop of alcohol in close to 10 months.
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I don't know where to start sometimes and I use humor as a coping mechanism
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Im from the East Bay! (Concord) I noticed you were from the South Bay when I sent a friend request. There's a great AA community in SJ. A few members from down there have came to attend my homegroup meeting in the past. I just looked and The Alano Club in SJ has meetings around 6p almost everyday, maybe start there or find a woman's meeting, or young people's meetings are great and have good vibes. I wouldn't be where I am now without first getting a sponsor 
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What are the things you find the funniest ?
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Why is it triggering ?
His death? The kids (assuming different mom/family?) the back story of his estrangement/your relationship with him?
Acceptance and letting go of the past circumstances allows their contacting you to lose all impotence, force (positive or negative ) is created by yourselves… the fact they contact you is neutral…you make it what it is to you
So dig further to understand what the real issue is
Come to terms with it and let it go
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Thank you so much
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I’m so sorry for your loss . Grief is a tricky thing . I would suggest being gentle with yourself as a starter. Next find regular consistent woman’s meetings , a sponsor , and a grief group . I lost my sister and ontop of AA and my suggestions I went to therapy and got into a grief support group . I also started taking meds for a short time . Utilize everything that’s out there! Baby steps and don’t pick up . Drinking /drugging won’t change anything . 
sending you love . Again I’m
Sorry for your loss even if you were estranged , it’s a loss and a change in your life that can’t be minimized . We are shaped by these situations good and bad . I wish the very best for you and your family.
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Breathe
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Thank you 
I feel better !!