I feel very alone right now. I relapsed and kept drinking for awhile. I hit my rock bottom this past Saturday. I am done doing this to myself and the people I love. My boyfriend is so so so so mad/hurt at me. He’s working out of town right now and he’s barely talking to me. I don’t blame him. I just have a few very important people in my life I hurt that are upset and mad at me. So I’m crying constantly. I’m trying to save myself, my family, my relationship with my brother. I understand they’re mad at me right now but I feel I need to be shown some support from them too. My boyfriend has a little bit. I just feel so sad and angry with myself all the time right now and feel I have no one.
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Kaley you’re not alone. I felt the same way when I was kicked out of my home. I had lost the trust of my family and friends and employer. They were all very short with me. Bitter.
I put my ego and pride aside. Went to treatment everyday. I was very fortunate to have enough money and a place to live that I could go to out patient. My first 90 days were a blessing. But I had to do the work. Go to meetings, share my feelings, talk to others in the program and in group therapy. After treatment I kept in the program of AA. It took me about 18 months of my own filth before I did the 4th and 5th steps. Best relief ever. I found a good sponsor and it’s been a real treat to have gone through the steps and now I’m helping others go through the steps… that’s the true spiritual experience.
Focus on your sobriety program the rest will follow. I’ll pray for your healing. Find a higher power of your understanding.
I’m pretty sure I tried to quit over 10 times. This is the longest ever for me. I feel all my fails led up to these sober days. Look inside and see your strength