I figured out a problem why I drink. I’m okay with being by myself and alone when I drink. I’m able to have a good time by myself whether it’s listening to music or watching a movie. I CAN DO IT ALONE! when I’m sober, I want companion. But, not just any company. For example, my significant other. When I’m sober, I’m very needy. I want to feel loved and be all over you. But, when I drink, I’m okay with being alone if I have to be. I love being me when I’m intoxicated. The sober me is the person who I hate. People find that person as needy. I hate being called needy. And the reason for that is because when people need me I am alwaysss there! But when I need them or a lil company, or loving, I’m being “needy”. I hate people and I hate relationships and I can’t trust anyone. That’s why I rather keep my lips and emotions sealed. And, the best way I can do that is by drinking!!! I figured it out!!!! I finally figured it out of why drinking is my run to or dependency. Because when no one is there, the alcohol is. It’s like an invisible person, but it’s there. I feel grounded.
Alcohol is not the answer. You may need counseling. Reach out to your higher power. For me that is Jesus. Best of luck on your journey
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