I get that I have to deal with life on

Recovery
#1

I get that I have to deal with life on life’s terms. But sometimes it’s incredibly frustrating to me how dissatisfied I am with areas of my life even after over five years of continuous sobriety.

From the start of 2022 when I found out my dad died (12/31 from drugs/alcohol) to the loss of two of my ex boyfriends (also due to drugs/alcohol) to ending my 2+ year toxic relationship with a narcissist, it’s just like, seriously?

So now, I am in Florida at my brother and sister-in-law’s place celebrating the holiday and take a WAY overdue break/vacation. And guess what, I have a 103 degree temperature and what appears to be the flu. So I have spent most of my vacation time in bed. It’s just exhausting sometimes. “It will get better”, “one day at a time”, “don’t quit before the miracle happens”. Most of the time I am grateful. But occasionally I slip into self pity and feel like very little has improved in my life though I have put in constant and substantial effort. Occasionally I feel “jipped” and find myself scoffing at the promises when I hear them read aloud.

Just needed to vent. I’m not going to drink. I know the drill. Sometimes it’s just like UGH.

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#2

I would say a regular life is mundane from what you’ve seen but I’d rather have regular boring than getting tuned up.

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#3

Thanks for sharing. Been feeling the same. I do hope it passes soon. I’m sure it will. Just another wave to ride out?

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#4

Yes and when we have the flu we feel like we are gonna die. But if we are depressed too like I often am we also hope we do die. Lol

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#5

I hope you’re feeling better because you embody love or you wouldn’t feel grief. I want you to think of doing something nice for yourself today. It’s fine if it doesn’t cost anything too!

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#6

How are you feeling today?

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#7

Life still happens but it’s so much better sober from the booze. Someone asked in a meeting yesterday, “I’m sober… now what?” Now you live your life, doing the next right thing, without the burden of addiction. Allow yourself to be happy. Enjoy the small moments. Your purpose will reveal itself. :facepunch::sunglasses:

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#8

What I do after 2 1/2 years of sobriety when I feel like taking a pity trip (and believe me, no one is immune to that) I think of my horrible using days where I f’d stuff and people up because of my using. It gives me a kick in the pants because think if you were using and this stuff happened? It wouldn’t be pretty. But please continue to vent because that is why we are here :blush:

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#9

Hood vent and very understandable. It’s funny how the better we get the more in tune with our bodies we are and how much the little things bother us now. We can actually respond in healthy ways to being sick and actually slow down. You inspire me to recognize the pity party and get myself going. I hope you feel better.

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#10

Tara, I have been where your at. Just remember the binges miracle of all, your not drinking!!!
If you drank like I did this is definitely a miracle. Be grateful for it if nothing else. Also, remember “this to shall pass” maybe like a kidney stone, but it will pass. :slightly_smiling_face:

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#11

I know that feeling all too well! Sometimes I feel like I’ve been short changed as well. I’ve worked way too hard to be where I am I most definitely have not gotten out of life what I’ve put in. I have to remind myself that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be and that I’m the healthiest and best version of myself!! Feeling sorry for myself and miserable is a choice. I truly believe that the best is yet to come!! I lost everything that I put before my sobriety. But since I’ve put my sobriety first everything else I have is first class! It can be hard to be optimistic. It can be hard not to feel like life owes us something. But if we do the best we can right now then anything can happen!!

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#12

Inspiring words Eric. I’m only 2 weeks sober and trying to develop some new routines but today just feel lost and lack motivation .

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#13

Hope you make a speedy recovery, hang in there and if you're flying home, wear a mask.

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#14

Thanks for sharing your experience, strength and hope. It sounds to me like you are an example to others who are struggling.

It's nice to hear that I'm not the only one that falls into self-pity from time to time. LOL

I too sometimes feel jipped and scoff inside my head at the promises. Especially the one that says we will not regret the past.

Some of us get sober but it seems like we get sober a little bit late and we missed our ship.

Glad that you're sober and dealing with life on life's terms. And I think you know already that this too shall pass.

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#15

I get that feeling and sometimes you do just have to vent and get it off your chest. Proud of you for not drinking.

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#16

Like I’ve entered the seventh circle of h*ll. But I’ve dealt with worse. Haha. Thank you for asking. :heart:

#17

Sometimes I survive those moments just by reminding myself that a drink never fixed a dam thing, but NOT drinking fixed a lot of things.

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