I go days without drinking the I fall of and go on binged.. I feel like a hypocrite sometimes
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Just one day at a time. But more than that have you tried a recovery program such as Alcoholics Anonymous? I found freedom from the obsession to drink in AA by going through the steps with a sponsor
It ain’t easy Alex, you just have to keep trying 
Have you tried a program? Been to rehab? Went to detox? We need help in getting and staying clean, I know I could not have done it without people who were not only willing but genuinely wanting to help me. All you need to do is reach out, we are here to help if we are able to.
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I’ve been to three recovery programs, but somehow I end up relapsing..
May I make a suggestion. Get medically detoxed and then get on craving medications. That’s what saved me. They gave me Campral and haven’t picked up will be 3 years October 3. I could never have stopped without professional help I was so physically addicted.
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is campral the one that makes you feel really sick if you drink on purpose? to keep u away from it? it’s like punishing yourself than again you punish yourself everytime you relapse but at least you are on here looking for suggestions that is still a positive thing… wish u the best 
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Phillip.
No your thinking Antabuse. That makes you deathly sick. You have to read every label because everything had alcohol in it
First I tried Naltrexzone but for me I took it with wine. Campral they gave it to me at the hospital I was in, for cravings and they also put me on a withdrawal medication. I stayed on the campral for 2 years until my recovery team was well established. Then I stopped it. I am watching a dear friend deal with a liver transplant she is 40 and she is a walking AA meeting for me. She has to be constantly monitored and on 35 pills a day so her body doesn’t reject the liver. Believe me no drink is worth your life. I am very passionate about helping people and I can get very honest but you can take what you need and leave the rest. I pray something I said helps you. My brother died yellow at 35 with no liver and my friend was found dead in his car from bleeding out from
His alcoholism so If I can even help one person a day it helps me. Please do whatever you need to do. Keep reaching out.
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I agree with this. I was also on campral after treatment for about 8 months. It helped a lot. I only stopped because I lost my insurance. I could tell a difference.
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Absolutely works. Glad to hear your ok. One day at a time. Sobriety is worth it.
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Alex, I am wondering if you have identified anything in your life that is precipitating or enhancing our ‘innate’ triggers to fall into the budding process. I know at one point it was when I’m celebrating, when I’m sad, when I’m hurt, when I’m mad - every emotion was a reason. But when I made a decision to make recovery a way of life, it didn’t take away my ‘go to’ cure all response or craving. It did make me more self aware. I did have super friends, mentors, sponsors to keep me honest & to walk with me. For me, it did take a lot of internal work. Initially, the tougher, rawer, more emotionally charged & painful the internal work was seemed to correlate with or be proportionate to the strength of my pull into a relapse.
There are many avenues for finding sober people that will walk with you, challenge you, & hold on to you. I hope you continue to be persistent in your recovery process & discover the freedom it affords.
You mention you have been to three recovery programs. Might I ask if you have gotten a sponsor in any of them and follow directions laid out before you on how they stayed and continue to stay sober?
Very well said!! I am on medication for cravings, depression and anxiety but somehow… the asshole that I am! I keep returning.., like the Bible says.. a dog that returns to his vomit
Changed perspectives will lead to changed perceptions - this is an example of what I am saying in that we choose our view of ourselves, our circumstances, and our decisions/actions to move forward.
When I played games with my young children, I had the ability to beat them every time. I chose to lose 50% of the board games we played. In life lessons for my children, I won 100% of the games. Did I feel like a loser when I lost the board game, no, it was a choice because my teaching goal was being met even if it wasn’t apparent to the audience.
There are many views of a box - the human view - 1 side; the birds view - all sides & top; God’s view - all sides, top, middle & bottom. Thus, a single cardboard box has numerous angles / perspectives from which it can be viewed, just like a single traffic accident viewed by a dozen different people. Your life has innumerable perspectives from which it can be viewed.
You have taken several steps forward - toward your goal - you are not an a.s.s - in my world, God didn’t create that - like everyone, you are on a journey to discover the you God created, your purpose, your gifts, your talents, and how in your freedom with sobriety, you will best use all of your innate resources that are just waiting inside you to fully bloom.
It is my firm belief that God’s love for & compassion for all of us with an addictive disease is great. He gave the rest of the world a single Great Big Book - the rest of us got an additional Big Book. God is fighting for you so keep fighting for yourself.
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I failed a lot of times when I tried to stop and eventually I stopped don’t give up keep fighting
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I felt worthless drinking. It didn’t set right with my spirit. It caused utter turmoil.