I go sober and we fight even harder. Tight.
Hey man… that happens to most if not all of us. You need to see it from your partners point of view. How long were you not sober? What have you put them through? Has there been a breach of trust, gaslighting, lying, isolating, projecting issues on them? It took my wife about 8 months to come around fully. It was 3 months before she finally believed I wasn’t playing a long con to get my way. But with working my program, showing her I was being honest and repentive slowly the trust was rebuilt. I remember at about three weeks in, having a fight about dinner and how long some left overs were in the fridge. I was so angry I called my sponsor. His exact words were “you know it’s not about the orange chicken right” and that snapped me out and made me realize, I needed to see her side of the last 12 years. Patients man. You can get there. Show… not tell. Good luck bud.