I got clean 2014 when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. Stayed clean until 2019. Started smoking it here and there, now 2 years later I'm injecting it and using every day. It's starting to affect my family. My marriage already had problems and this has just made it worse. Yesterday, everything just exploded, and my husband and I got into a big argument. His kids got involved. Our son got involved. Now everyone knows and everyone is mad at me. I wasn't trying to hurt anyone. I promised my husband that this was it. I have a dime bag left, and when I finish it, I'm throwing everything away. And get clean. I'm so freaking scared. Deep down I don't want to quit but I don't have a choice. I have to think about my 6 year old daughter. But I'm so unhappy,I just don't want to be sober. My husband won't take me to celebrate recovery or church. He says we can do all that at home. But being stuck here 24/7 is not going to help me any. Please pray for me. I've got to put this down so I can make a life for me and my daughter. I'd love for it to be just me and her one day. And I can't take care of her and do this too. Why did I ever pick this stupid stuff up again!! I'm so disappointed in myself. And so is everyone else. I'm embarrassed. Everyone thinks I'm just a meth head. I'm really not. It hurts my feelings. I'm getting no support. I just want to cry and cry....
Well, you said you don’t want to stop. If you don’t want it nothing anyone does is gonna work. Up to you. Gotta want it. No one gonna do it for you. My suggestion, rehab. You gonna lose everything anyhow if you keep using. Think you know this. Why you’re scared.
I'm in a bad relationship. We do alot of arguing and fighting. Which makes me want to use more than ever. I'm just so unhappy I don't want to be sober. But there's part of me that does want to be sober. Because I don't want to loose my kids. I love them more than life itself. I can't be without them. I'm just torn. I don't even know which way to go. My Life is so messed up right now.
Everything comes out wrong. I mess up when I'm trying to say what I'm feeling
Last time I got sober it was so easy. I put it down cold turkey and never looked back.
Well, hope you can figure this out. Sounds like you need a break from the life you are living right now. Rehabs give you that break and steer you on a good path. If you love them more than life itself then get clean for them if not for you. Just find a reason to stop. The rest will come later. Just a minute, hour, day at a time is all you need. Get plugged into something. A program. Prayer. Something. Again, I’d suggest a rehab. That meth chit is a dead end for sure. Killing a lot of souls.
Hey Shonna, I think youre very strong to express your struggles on here. Thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like youre realizing that you may want to stop using, and thats honestly so great. Obviously its hard to quit. Its an addiction, an illness. It sounds like it is affecting your life, and you are already thinking of ways to get help such as wanting to look into a program and sharing on this platform. Its important to identify those who will be support systems in your journey to recovery. Also understanding what it is you need and are willing to try to recover. If you think you need or want to try a program and have help from a church, then I strongly advise you go. Having someone dictate staying in the same place youre at with a lack of support is not a solution but rather sticking you in the same place where you are predicted to relapse or not get enough help. Reach out to your family or friends who can help you. Maybe they are upset or mad at you, but I am sure they want you to win this battle. Reach out to your church, a program advisor, a trusted neighbor, someone or people who will hear and help you. This is the first step to recovery and you already made a big step by coming into this community! We believe in you. The begining is always hard. We have been in similar situations as you, even if it is not exactly the same. I will pray for you, your safety, your health, and your mental peace. As well as good vibes your way. You can do this
What Liz said. Agreed.