I had a relapse and am feeling really shameful and guilty. Along with the daily life of being a spouse and a parent i am overwhelmed. Sometimes i feel like if I can’t get a handle on this compulsive behavior addiction how can I keep going.
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Take a piece of advice from a dad of 3! I had a lot of issues finding whether I was going to go nuts or not. first thing is the acceptance and if it’s wise for you to take time off your life and recognize rehab is your most important step at this point and time! And to get away from the quality of life u feel and to make ur life better! I know it’s a minor sacrifice but in the long run it will show ur family that ur taking the steps in the right direction to improve ur life and to improve ur family’s
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Adrian, you’re right about keeping on going the way you have been. To beat my addict behavior and compulsion, I had to take extreme measures. For me that meant going to AA/NA/CA meetings every morning before life got a hold of me or my addict mind lulled me into procrastination, tomorrow tomorrow toooommorrooow😅. I got sponsored and did the 12 steps multiple times. I actually make MY SOBRIETY MY NUMBER ONE PRIORITY in life. Over finance, romance and even family! See, truly when I’m happily sober then I can have it all and way more than I ever thought possible. Without solid and happy sobriety I get nothing but misery, shame, loneliness and slow painful death.
WAKE UP! 
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Shame is the loudest after a relapse, and it’s also the least honest one. It wants you to believe this moment defines you as a parent and a partner, and it doesn’t. What it actually tells you is that you’ve been carrying too much without enough support underneath you.
Just keep going no matter what. Keep reaching out
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Thank you for the words & understanding.
Thank you