I had to kick 2 mega toxic and the closest people to me the past couple days. My body feels like I'm mourning death. (The feeling I had when my Mother passed) It's weird. This passed week started real off on Monday and my body and mental feelings have been non-stop. Those 2 were the ones I trusted and went to when I needed to. I'm so sad. Using is coming up inmy mind constantly. I just made it to 9 months. Longest ever. I don't think I will use but like I said, I have nobody to tell my inner thoughts with no more. 
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Go to a meeting. They have them online and via phone. When those thoughts came up for me, I knew its was easy to go back to that old version of myself. I choose to have the courage to realize I only have to make it through this minute, hour, day... then back to one day at a time. Its not supposed to be easy to let people go. But it gets easier the more you do it. It creates space for you to be comfortable with the new you. To attract the right kind of people too. But maybe I am wrong eh?
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All I have is my dog and taking care of my home.. absolutely no friends..I just do it
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D, I knew I needed one. Yes it has gotten easier and so much more emotional unpreparedness.
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I just got a cat so now it's just me and her. Nonstop love and loyalty
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If you are working any 12 step program, you have more than just friends in it... you have a family that cares and understands what you are going through.
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Maybe try and find happiness within yourself? Learn to be alone and comfortable with your own company too.
Finding happiness in others will always only be temporary.
Every relationship will end even soulmate's. It may end with a death of one person or for countless other reasons.
If you have time do something so you are not lonely.
Volunteer, learn, work on yourself, work for others, practice hobbies, dream, walk, dance. All those things on your bucket list can be started.
Its why we do the work to get our lives back through recovery.
Enjoy some of the money you are saving from not having a $100 bar tab or buying substances.
Have some fun being clean and sober. Make some amazing memories!
You are worth it!
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I've never done a 12 step program
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If you have had or caused enough pain, its worth trying. Many meetings are slightly different. Most follow the same principles and you will find people that understand. Peoe that will say "been there, done that" or something similar. Focus on what may work. Be open minded and try things out before assuming they will not work. For me, doing what I was doing didn't work. I had to trust those that got out of their own way before me to guide me. That was hard. But well worth it. Took courage and strength. The more I did it, the easier it became. Just like some one going to a gym for the first time. First day body hurts. You go back. Same thing next time. It gets easier everyday. A year later you look back and see the changes. One day at a time.
I've been to so many meetings,,20 minutes in you can't do anything for yourself,,, you need a god.... sorry I can't pick out of the 3000 known in the world right now
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Hey Kevin,
I am not sure if that is a correct understanding of the 12 step programs. For me, doing it alone and doing things my way led me to my own version of h3ll and rock bottom many times. Giving up control and trusting others in the programs with an open mind took an courage and honesty. What I was doing did not work. So i tried what worked for many others. Does that make sense?
Why don’t you volunteer or get a real job😃.
Stay strong 