I got fired for “stealing.” In reality gave someone a 10% discount. The employee manual said we couldn’t give out our employee discount. Which is more than 2x the 10% I gave to a customer. I’m reporting the company to the EEOC but this is why I miss working in bars and restaurants. They let you comp whatever you felt was appropriate & only legitimate theft was called stealing. But I quit working in bars and restaurants so that I could have a “real job” without the temptations of drinks & drugs. I’m applying to a bar & I don’t care what happens. My life has become so much worse since sobriety. Not even the medications I’m on work for me. I just want to go back to the way I was.
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Sorry to hear you’ve been feeling that way Mariah…. All I can say is hang in there and try other ways but it’s your life and you’ll do what you want. Just hoping it’s the right decision for you.
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Hi, Mariah.
Sorry to read about your employment, the firing…I am sincerely asking out of curiousity…what prompted you to seek sobriety to begin with and how has life become worse?
Obviously do not share if you don’t want to. I am simply curious to know what leads others to pursue sobriety. I go through my crappy moments while I don’t want to go back to drinking. I work at a venue and am surrounded by alcohol. So. A person can choose to remain sober even when surrounded by alcohol. It has made me not want to drink even more. Seeing people throw away money, time, energy and give it all to alcohol…such a waste. I hope things get better. Alcohol always makes things worse ( my experience )…
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I was on a self help journey when I started thinking bc about sobriety. My dad died, I got divorced, I moved back home. went to therapy, and stopped drinking and smoking because I wanted a better life. I have a sponsor & I go to meetings & even went to a sober retreat. But I’m just lonely & broke now.
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Hi, Mariah. Thank you replying. That is so much to go through and process, I don’t want to relay anything trite or idiotic.
You could have kept numbing yourself out and you chose sobriety.
You are courageous. Loneliness and not earning a lot, these aspects hit me hard at times. Yes. I have a lot to be grateful for while the other day for the first time in a while, became really pissed that I cannot have “ just one drink”.
…( continued )…so, yeah. Felt somewhat pissed off that I will never be able to have another drink while I also know that alcohol did absolutely nothing for me aside from helping me to lose tons of time, money, relationships. My list is endless, really. This is not an easy path, obviously!
I am glad you wrote and shared what you are going through, feel like. You have probably helped others to feel less alone, Mariah.
And I hope that you know that you are not alone!
Although in the midst of feeling lonely, words often do not help. Do want to thank you for being brave and sharing.
You have made it so far. 10 months! I wouldn’t throw in the towel just yet, but you are in control of your own life. Jobs are tough right now for everyone. Many people are struggling emotionally, financially, and in many other ways. I wonder if it truly has to do with sobriety? Maybe it’s just finding the right coping mechanisms to deal with life’s adversity. There are many jobs out there. I have had 3 this past year. It is tough because many other people are stuck in the toxic lifestyle, which isn’t for you anymore (I don’t think). It’s all about finding a job that is the right fit for you, where you can connect with the people you work with. Once you have that, I don’t think you will feel this way. Try not being so hard on yourself. Screw that company! You will find a better one. Changes are hard, but I think you can do it 
I also want to add, if the medications you are on aren’t working. It may be helpful to talk to your doctor to consider adjusting your dosage or changing the medication.
Hi Mariah just so you know everybody has bad moments they also have bad days they make bad decisions but that doesn't mean we have to give up on life So I'm saying to you please don't give up on yourself you are special we are all special we decided to change our lives for the better and it's not gonna happen overnight it's gonna take strong dedication and strong will and We need to keep ourselves around positive and strong people Strong support Group I know I'm a type of person I am doing everything possible to not pick up and use I have too much to lose and I have a lot to gain And I'm sure you as well so let's not short change our life let's grab it by the horn and show ourselves and show others that we can do this I wanna be A winner I wanna see you and everybody else be one as well So let's try to do the next right thing Let's get hungry For our Sobriety Let's stay on fire for our recovery You are not in this alone we are in this together reach out to People and let's make the magic happen I pray that everything goes well with you and you can always send me a message if you need to talk