I have 23 days clean.. I cannot sleep and I’m worried about everything in my life and in fear most of the day.
I can’t stop future tripping and worrying about what’s going to happen. Feeling shame and guilt about the past. Any tips on how to stay in the moment ?
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Go to AA. Raise your hand and identify as new. Find a sponsor and go through your steps. I promise it’s not as bad as you think it’s going to be. Life gets so beautiful on the other side. Good luck!
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All you can do is take it one day at a time. Try and go to 90 meetings in 90 days, I’m still in the process of that, I have 60 days clean so it’s very early for me too. I really started putting my beliefs in a power greater than myself and stopped thinking that I could do this all alone. DO NOT DRINK OR DRUG NO MATTER WHAT!!! It will only make it worse, a lot worse. You can also reach out to me if you want to and use phone numbers, ask for help as much as you need too!
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I always try and pause. When those thoughts or feelings come to mind. try and literally observe what's in front of you. What do you see, smell, hear, feel (touch)? Also, I always keep some sour candies nearby to divert my thought/feeling in that moment. The sour punch often does the trick, which then prompts me to practice mindfulness. It takes only a few min. Just 5 min. Then reaffirm you're ok, focus on the now and what you can control and carry on... it sounds silly and prolly like "yea ok...?" But it worked for me when I first started to "practice" being mindful. It's actually hard being mindful when you tend to overthink. Don't overthink. Literally pause, then observe. 
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Trouble sleeping in the beginning is very normal. All of your thoughts and feelings are normal and valid. Try to ground yourself in these moments. Try breath work or meditation. Play relaxing music, burn incense or light a candle, and write/journal. Limit caffeine intake, drink water and herbal tea, take a warm herbal bath or shower. Picture the water washing away all your worries and pain and them going down the drain and away from you.
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See someone and possibly get a script of something non addictive to help with sleep. I was prescribed trazadome because we all need the sleep when in early recovery. It really helped. I at 5 months and don't take that anymore, but have been taking melatonin for a few months. Getting a good sleep for a few days will also help with anxiety.
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Lauren I’m a day away from 9 months and i go thru the same thing. Constant negative thoughts past present and future. I’m finally realizing that the people in AA that have gone thru the steps mean by doing the work. I need to start doing the steps or I will continue to suffer.
This is your mind and body healing. Your body is recalibrating to natural levels without drugs or alcohol. This process takes time and patience.
And I agree AA helps tremendously with the guilt/shame/anxiety. Or at least it helped me.
I just want to say that this is completely normal and only temporary. I was the same exact way, married, little girl, career, house etc, relapsed after 4 years and checked into treatment. I thought I was going to lose EVERYTHING! But guess what, I lost nothing. I was an emotional wreck, crying, panic attacks, anger, the whole nine. Everyone kept telling me I'll be ok and I wouldn't believe them and would say, easy for you to say. They were right. I catastrophized everything. I tried to practice everything that everyone told me to do, mindfulness, breathing etc but it didn't always work. It did sometimes. But it does get better, I promise.
Every single person here was new once
Yeah the troubles lasted... denial doesn't let go easy
Definitely agree with a lot of these suggestions.
Reach out to build a sober support network, if you want my number or my sobriety family would be glad to help you.
Use thought stopping exercises, like a rubber band on your wrist, breath, sour candy like one suggestion said or just yell out STOP!!
Hi Lauren: I’m at 58 days and things are leveling out for me, and they will for you. Guilt about the past and fear of the future ate me up to begin, but I’ve learned to stay as best I can in the present by waking up and planning for that day only, thing and doing what positive things I can do and busy myself with that day (e.g., work, exercise, solving problems I created while drinking, self-help and Scripture reading, going to AA meetings, talking or meeting with my sponsor, , hobbies and interests, meditation, mindfulness, chatting with a supportive friend or family member, rest or taking a nap, ect.). Whatever keeps you in the moment and keeps your mind occupied. I also remind myself repeatedly that I cannot change the past or acurrately predict the fire, but only plan for the future and that the regret and fear is only temporary. I hope this helps.
I'm not a doctor, but you could also have generalized anxiety disorder (I do). Your doctor can help, and rates of dependency is increase with GAD and co-disorders. Constant worry is common. But it also may just be early recovery and all that comes with it.
Lauren!!! I’m so glad you’re in this state of mind! Sounds like the gift of desperation! Find a sponsor, read the big book, go to meetings, start your step work. Write down your resentments( who and why I’m angry or resentful-people, places and institutions) then do the same with your fears & then look at your sexual conduct( just the behaviors)
Then we look at who we harmed.
But that’s step 8.
I recently met a person that had day one, raised their hand and shared how they were restless, irritable and discontent out in the real world. After working with him for a few days they started writing their 4th step. Day 14 they shared their 5th step. On day 30 made their first amends to their Mother. This person has been transformed by the power greater than themselves & by doing the work.
Ask yourself are you right with your higher power? Can you get honest with yourself? The items I’m worried about can I solve them now? I’m I in fear of losing something? Not getting what I want? I’m I think about myself all day?
We believe the root of our troubles are selfishness and self centeredness. Driven by 100 forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-putty….
Can you write down things you’re grateful for? I like to make a gratitude list each morning.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I’ll definitely be praying for your healing.
Try and take in one day at a time we only get 24hrs in a day so as long as you stay sober for 24 hrs your winning! The more time you have the easier it gets! I will be praying for you 
God bless you keep up the good work
I felt and sometimes still feel this way. The first step is to forgive yourself. It really is. Once you forgive yourself and accept that the past cannot be changed, for me, it was so humbling that I never wanted to be that person again. I believe things happen for a reason both good and bad. You have a chance to make right everything that went wrong. What is meant to be in your life will stay. What isn’t meant for you will go. Trust in God.
Trying to practice prayer and meditation before bed clearing out your head from the day start by trying to think about how you felt first thing in the morning and then retrace the day before you get to the end affirming that you’re not going to dwell because you have got this and that gods helping you with that be sure to make affirmations that lead to positive self talk and reflect on the positive things that you have achieved remind yourself that you’re doing what you have always wanted and you are doing what you need to do to keep your sobriety it’s important that you do remember that you’re not alone and gods guidance will bring you to the next level of success it’s important to not engage in any negative self talk or reflection in case you drift into negative thoughts quickly steer away and become positive as quickly as possible it’s okay to leave behind old friends and old habits for new positive ones
Shame is tough to shake, guilt however can be used as a tool in recovery. Lots of information regarding this.