I have 4 years of sobriety but it's the anniversary of my son's death as well as my brothers hanging. I'm feeling weak & unsure of myself. My daughter is currently suicidal, she's cutting herself ect...I'm so triggered & I am struggling to stay sober at the moment. Just looking for some support because of I'm not coping well alone at all. It's scary.
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It me honey
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My condolences to you. I couldn’t imagine what your going through internally right now. I can say that from my suicidal ideation and attempts I went through while on drugs was a dark start of mind. Today I have a higher power that guides me through this day. I can give all of my willpower, no matter the situation, to this power greater then myself to give me the courage and wisdom to go through these situations with integrity, compassion and strength. Ask your higher power question, like this; God please take away all my character defects? God, please give me the strength and knowledge to help my daughter get through this rough patch?
Keep your head up. Learn about what faith can do for you.
Thank for letting me be of service. I hope this helps you.
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My foster dad was a penticostal pastor...I have a very strong faith thankfully
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Hi Kristie-I am so sorry about your current situation, in November I will have four years of sobriety myself, I was tested on May 5 of this year when a very old and dear friend of mine died. He drank himself to death, and that makes I think 10 people that I know including two brother-in-law‘s that drink themselves to death. Triggers like family deaths or other terrible situation trigger us to run back to the alcohol, but as you know it only takes away the problem for that day, and then you wake up tomorrow with a hangover, everyone that you know that is near and dear and is gone, they are still gone. And then you have lost your sobriety time. I understand feeling weak, but you must try to stay strong. Sobriety is a very tricky thing and these types of situations can rob us of our will. Please try to hang in there, I know that’s a lot easier for someone to say that’s looking in from the outside, but you have many friends here for support!!!!
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Thank you so incredibly much Jim! Four years is so amazing...I remember so clearly when I couldn't imagine I would ever be successful a single day! & Yes even when it's hard to stay sober when u think of all that goes with that first drink it really helps a person find strength. I'm trying very hard & that's why I found this forum last night. I have huge health issues as well, auto immune diseases, blood clots, just in the past year I've had part of my hand amputated because of it all but u know, I'd give up all my limbs for my sobriety cuz without it, there is no hope. I'm just at a low point right now & it's pretty frightening. You totally seem to get me...I can't tell you how much that makes a difference. Thank you for the support & for your service & Gor richly bless you!
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God*
Thank you Ron. Yes where I live it's not possible to get to meetings so I haven't known how to go about it but I'm so glad I found you all. I'm so sorry as well for the losses you have endured....it's never easy. I began drinking when my little boy died & I've experienced lots of loss before but losing him was something I don't know how to begin to recover from. I'm starting EMDR counseling soon because I'm told that is alot more beneficial for the loss of a child. & Now I will participate on AA online. I will take any suggestions I can get for sure 
Ron that is such a tremendous amount of loss ...wow you are an inspiration
Ron G what an amazing testimony of faith, I found my brother after his suicide a year ago as well as at the same time had part of my hand amputated...I managed to stay sober but I was also in a marriage at the time where I was completely isolated from everyone living basically in the woods in one room. This year I found the courage to leave that marriage & I have my own place now in the northern most part of Maine. I moved in with a bag of clothes & an air mattress lol & God has sure provided. The struggle this year for these anniversaries is I'm alone as well as sober for the first time ever. It's easier to fight the drink locked in a room lol! But look, the day is nearly halfway over & im still sober! You all are amazing!!! & Yes I would love that so much!!! 
You’re very welcome Kristie-but I would be careful about what I am wishing for in order to keep your sobriety. So I saw that you had put it like that and thought I would share this with you…on November 5 of this year it will be three year anniversary that I lost all four fingers at once on my dominant hand at work in a set of pinch rolls. All I have left is just my thumb on my right hand. I was three weeks away from being sober one year when I had this terrible accident at work. Believe me, I was tempted every day for about two months. What helped keep me from taking that first drink was thinking about how much time I have behind me as a sober individual, if I was to take that first drink, poof! Every bit of time that I have behind me is gone like the wind. You can’t get that back. So thinking about that, and going to meetings and listening to their stories. Those things keep me sober. I have extremely high days and extremely low days, wishing that I had my fingers back, but still extremely thankful that I made it through this Trumatic accident and kept my sobriety. You can stay sober, you are already strong, you just don’t feel it right now. Going to meetings and listening to people explain their stories and then realizing that I was not the only one that screwed my life to hell over the course of three decades, I was not alone. Neither are you.
Jim can I share pics here with u to show u what happened to mine...for two months they rotted
I just posted pics
Pics posted...the rotting process was horrible pain... like no other
I took a picture and I hit post it-But I don’t know if it went to my profile or what I don’t see it anymore.
Let's talk about the positives ! We're alive and God is with me every step of the way, because I asked him into my heart. Jim, my AA anniversary is also on November 5th. Had my last drink November 4th, 1988. I do not say that to brag but rather to let you all know there's nothing or no one I would allow to get in the way of my sobriety ! Sobriety must come first or I'll die. Pretty simple really, just not easy. I used to drive miles and miles to buy liquor. I've had to drive over an hour to go to a meeting. It's not easy when you live far from civilization, but where there's a will there's a way. There are Zoom meetings all over the country. I use every tool available to stay sober. I lost my grandson, my daughter and my son-in-law because of one event in which they were all drinking. I wondered why drinking over it never occurred to me. I know the answer :
my faith in God and I would not have given up 25 years of sobriety for anything. Drinking wouldn't have changed anything except to wreck my life. Their's were already lost. I can be sad, especially on anniversaries of loss, but I refuse to wallow in it. I know this all sounds harsh. Booze ruined half my life. I won't allow it to wreck the last half. Ask God for help, use your Big Book, talk to other AAs and stay positive. We are God's children; He wants us to succeed. I'll pray for you to stay sober. 
Vicki Graf I agree with you completely! I am typically positive & spend every day of my life praising the Lord becuase if not for His Grace I would not be alive today & by his Grace I am saved! A bad day does not mean a bad life & drinking is never the answer but we all struggle & its pk to admit that <3
Sobriety, suicide in the family, mental health — all things I am with you on here. Sending love and support Kristie
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Thank you so very much sweetness <3
<3