I have 41 days today but I just feel so overwhelmed and down. I don't feel like using I just feel like I'm not doing recovery right. I'm not sure what else I can do to keep myself sober. I got a sponsor I go to zoom meetings and I read out of the na and aa big books. Maybe it's because I can't connect to a higher power. Anyone have advice?
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Set expectations really low for all the people around you in and outside of recovery. Slow down when you say serenity prayer and analyse the phrases to see how they apply to the moment. 3rd step prayer is very helpful too also slowly read. When I do this with intent to conect it becomes a little meditation. The early days are tuff I switched sponsors 3 times in 3 or 4 months but I kept trying to work the steps. Something I heard from a guy named Herb K was that the 4th step is the first step in writing and over the years I have done several and sharing them with a trusted closed mouthed friend is key to knowing the truth. When I read the 1st step I look at the hyphen and pretend there is an arrow pointing to "my life is unmanageable". I need a power of my own understanding to work with to help manage my life and that relationship is has always been there its just hard to hear and know without practicing the dialogue with it. The more overwhelming the more meetings, the more calling new people, the more inventory. A good idea today will be a good idea tomorrow. 1 hand in HP 1 hand in recovery leaves no hands to pick up. Nobody does recovery right it is a experience unique to everyone of us.
Don’t give in. It will eventually get better. Times are hard now. Just gotta muscle through it. Pray to something or someone. Anything. Just act as if you must. It’ll happen
Please don’t give up .it-takes time.keep it up.
Take one day at a time. Stay connected and talk to the po people.