I have a deep thought and a question for you all. I hear all the time and see comments on this app often that AA isn’t their thing. I get it, nobody has a monopoly on recovery. I live in a small community and AA is the only option for a long term/readily available long term recovery program and it works for me. My question is if there are things people said, portrayed or something else that was off putting? I want to help as many people as I can to achieve a sober life and be as welcoming as I can to be there for the newcomers. Honestly, I wasn’t sold on AA either when I first came in but it was available and literally was willing to give ANYTHING a go to get sober. I genuinely would like to hear stories in a productive non program bashing way so myself and others my be more productive at helping people in there time of reaching out for help. Thanks 
It took me 2 attempts at sobriety before I really started digging into AA and now I hold the program very near to my heart. Let me preface by saying that I grew up around AA and al-anon and always thought that made me less disposed to becoming an alcoholic. It didn’t.
After my drinking career, the first time I tried AA, there were a lot of people in the first few meetings really being pushy to get a sponsor. At the time I was only trying to check it out and it was quite off-putting how they portrayed that I didn’t stand a chance unless I hurried to it. Not only that, a few of the people in some of those groups were very clique-y which definitely made the program feel cultish (a term I’ve often heard describing AA).
I tried a nonaffiliated program and it worked for the most part on changing my habits, lifestyle & thought patterns but ultimately I went back out.
When I came back into the rooms, I tried a completely different group who welcomed me in without judgement. A much older demographic and some deep insight was what actually kept me coming back. They were patient with my process, understanding and actually listened to me and helped me from where I was at-not from what we all think we know about someone new to the program. I think meeting people where they’re at in their journey is very important and practicing patience to allow people to discover their own path. Hope this helps 
That was an amazing response! I’ve seen a bit of the clique thing and don’t like that for sure. I’ve combated it by making sure I invite everyone to out of meeting events. I liked hearing that, that is what made it feel cultish because I’ve heard that from people that are off put by AA, thank you 
Love this question (topic) Brian. I’m with you about wanting to help as many as people as possible. I first came into AA when I was 24. It was really difficult back then. I’m 57 now, so I look at AA thru a different set of eyes this time. I have a few things I’d like to say, but I’m going to have come back to this when I have time.
Cool, I’d like to hear your thoughts 
I think the benefit of the program is without question. However for me, it was too much. I came to it because I didn’t know what else to do. I got sick from my drinking and I had to quit. It was through the meetings that I was able to keep busy. Share stories with people who were on the same path. Ultimately I went through it on my own and moved and changed environment drastically. But thats not an option for everybody. I still go to meeting when I waver and I marvel at how many of us there are and the sense of community it engenders, which I think is the best aspect of it.
I agree that a sober community is very important. Thanks
AA for sure saved my life. I still pop in but not as active I used to be. The only negative things I can say about at least the ones in my area are the cliques that form and the gossip. Like high school all over again. And even though alcohol was my doc a lot of old timers really made addicts with other docs feel like they couldn’t talk about drugs, only alcohol.
Yes, I’ve witnessed old timers coming down on people with other doc’s, I guess We are lucky that we don’t do that here. I have suggested to one old timer that a closed meeting might be the place for him, we welcome all in our groups. That one has really bothered me from time to time. Thank you
Just got back from a meeting. Dear Lord, the support I get from AA is mind blowing and life changing! Plus it's all genuine. They're not after my money!
I’m glad you’ve found a good group.
I tried AA a long time ago in Norfolk. The ones I tried out were filled with people who at a minimum 20 years older than me. Not that that was a huge issue, but in my mid 20’s back then it would have been nice to be around others close to my age. And I looked, there weren’t any I could find. This was in 2007/2008 or so. Then, I also had other doc’s and I’d try to incorporate those into my stories that included my alcohol abuse and was usually given bad looks or even cut off a few times. I wasn’t solely speaking on other substances, but mentioned them in my story with alcohol, cause I abused both and usually together, so they went hand in hand for me. The program can save lives, it did for my best friend, but I was pushed away from it when I tried. Nothing against it though.
Thank you for your story, I’m beginning to see a couple common factors. I can see how being a young person in the program could be tough also, there is definitely room out in this world for a young person recovery program
The best thing about AA is the fellowship. I felt from day 1 that I wasn't alone.
First meeting I went to was great. Nice people patted me on the a$$ and held my hand, so nice. I promptly went out and drank.
Next trip in I walked in the door and a crusty old man barked “can we help you!?” I took off thinking what a bunch of a-holes. (That old man would later become my sponsor and a dear friend).
Finally I came in desperate enough and didn’t care who thought what. I was there for a solution to my drinking problem. I knew that I would die if I didn’t. I was told I was too young, not serious, and not to talk about drugs in AA. Then I was interrupted if I shared too long. I confronted the person about that, his response: “you know everything in the world about getting drunk, but you don’t know sh#+ about being sober. Listen for a while, you might learn something”
All true, and I took the suggestions and found good groups and better groups through my journey.
Bottom line is willingness. It’s attraction rather than promotion. I wanted what they had, sobriety. And I was willing to go to any length to get it.
That’s exactly where I was, willingness is key. If I had to clean porta potties with a coffee cup, I would have done it to save my life.
I should also say that the friendships I have gained in the AA fellowship are amazing. These people are family to me, not all of them, but many. Over many years. What an incredible experience and blessing.
Yes, the longer I’m in recovery the more important I feel the community is for Long term sobriety.
yes!
Empty ash trays, take out trash, be secretary, give newcomer’s rides, sort literature. You name it. It’s a life and death program. I choose life today. Before I got to A.A. I had no choice.
I think, like everything else, what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
In chapter 5, how it works, it asks us to let go absolutely from our old ideas. To be willing to go to any lengths to achieve sobriety. And many people are not willing or capable of doing that. And that’s ok. 12 step is not for them, at that time.
I read a book called Quit Like a Woman which proposes a program of recovery based upon empowerment rather than powerlessness. It is interesting. There are other programs like The Luckiest Club or SMART Recovery which have great success stories. The best program is the one that works for you.
I use 12 step recovery. I’ve leaned into the spiritual aspect of the program while maintaining my aversion to organized religion. But to each their own. If Jesus keeps you sober that’s great too.