I have a tendency to glamorize my drinking days. My boyfriends had cooler jobs and more money, I lived in better places, and my life was much more glamorous on the surface. Now I attend AA meetings daily, have solid/real friendships, and feel much more confident in who I am as an individual. I also have the AA steps and program and god in my life which makes all the difference. Sadly, I still find myself getting upset or sad when I think of the past. Sometimes my thoughts are even how much “better” I was back then. I’m trying to figure out how to lose this skewed perception of myself & have gratitude for what truly matters in life. How do I alter my thought process?
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It's a part of the process Ashlyn, we slowly work through our self pity. It's ok and you are right on time, just keep coming back!
Call three other drunks. Go help someone in AA. Do you have a sponsee? That always gets me right sized.
For me I try to remember not the fun times of drinking but what it was like at the end. I also find talking to newcomers helps remember how hard it was to stop and what early sobriety looks like.
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Ashlyn, you are on the right track. It’s all about changing your mind. This is done by working the steps. I would ask the question, what’s the problem?
Talk with your sponsor and work all 12 steps. The culprit will be found in the 4th.
I totally get it about those thoughts. When my mind wanders in that neighborhood, I have learned to recognize it as a dangerous part of town for me to be in now.
I then remember how horrible and hard it was when I hit my bottom. I then know those thoughts are poison to me know, no matter how sweet they seem to be, and then let it go to my higher power and try to look at how awesome the blessings are since I got sober.
Our brains are wired to remember the good over the bad otherwise we'd be super depressed all the time. We black out the pain. We used to numb it out. Now we sit with it and it passes. We are stronger. Just keep living day to day. We can't change the past or predict the future. All we need to do is focus on the present. It truly is a gift
Buy a boat. Best high ever!
