I have about 5 weeks clean from crack I am starting to feel a lot of self-pity because of all the life I've wasted all the things that I have forgot I can't remember what I've done in the last 25 years except I went to a treatment center... I feel the need to self-medicate but I know that's not the answer because I know too that this will pass hopefully in the next hour. My mind haunts me of all the bad things I've done and even working a four step still hasn't solved my emotional problem I am so sorry that I ever picked up that pipe. Sometimes all night long I have using dreams and I wake up wondering whether or not they was real or not I don't like that feeling. I've changed people places and things and I find now that I have no friends and I miss the lifestyle and the people who were in it with me. I guess I can only help myself and try not to use the other day. One day at a time.
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I'm 3.5 years old and I still feel self pity. If you don't feel pity, for self or others, you're probably an evil person. Self-pity, can lead to understanding and sympathy will lead into healing and self love. You can't change the last 25 years, but you can use it to grow the next 25 instead.
Also, I used to live in the Lafayete area, I live in NEPA and still cook as much traditional Cajun food as I possibly can
I feel that. I spent like 13 years drunk in bed after my PTSD/disability diagnosis
Only the people In your life now, that support you unconditionally are your friends. Not the ones who enabled you. Be strong my friend. It does get better.