I have been slowly coming to terms with the fact that I don’t and can’t drink like “normal” people do. I got wayyy too drunk the last two nights. Today my anxiety was out of control. I know I don’t want to live like this anymore. But I am having such a hard time finding the courage to be done with alcohol.
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Call for help in your area. I am in Treatment and it’s been the best decision in my life! I know it’s expensive but I was going to Die drinking the way I was! If you are like me you can not do it alone! It’s great that your on this Website that is a wonderful start 
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Many people can’t drink- you are not alone. Remind yourself of this.
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Hi Soulshine, I agree with Patti. Also my anxiety is like that too when I drank a lot. The next day or so was brutal. I decided to give AA meetings online a go and they have been really fun actually, I found a group of hilarious folks. Makes me feel like part of the group and not the odd one who “can’t drink”.
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That's something I struggled with for a long time as well. What eventually worked for me was getting a prescription for naltrexone (an opioid blocker) and using a treatment developed in Finland called The Sinclair Method. You just take naltrexone 1-2 hrs before drinking on days where you're finding it hard not to drink, and slowly over time you lose the desire to drink. I was drinking 450-500 drinks per month before starting and now 8 months later I've only had 4 drinks in the last 35 days, and can easily stop after 2-3 drinks instead of 15-30.
It works by blocking the release of dopamine when you drink which normally acts as positive reinforcement rewarding you for overindulging. Now when I drink I experience all of the harm with little of the reward, making it easy to choose not to drink as much. It doesn't work for everyone, but it might be worth looking into if you're like me and haven't been able to quit with AA and God/willpower alone.
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I agree that treatment so so helpful. I have done that route and it has helped me stay sober for 2+ years now. Then when you get out find meetings to go to. This is an extra protection plan 
. Find a sober community. There is so much peace in sobriety love. Follow your heart but getting help doesn’t have to be something you should be embarrassed about. You can do this. I have faith in you!
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For me it was how quickly my alcoholism progressed in a short time after traumatic events. Prior I was a problematic drinker and felt I was fine since it was only somtimes I over drank and usually I'd control it. Then the day happened when I realized I just drank without even questioning if it was a responsible choice. It wasn't and there were repercussions. It was then I realized I needed help. And had been controlling it so I could continue to drink not becasue I was an alcoholic. I began to joke that I was an alcoholic but it became very real. I had been watching the show "mom" and that helped ease into the idea of accepting i was an alcoholic. That's is my story I am not sure if that helps.
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Alcohol can cause such viscous cycle of anxiety. What I mean is that you drink to get rid of the anxiety, and it usually works for a few hours until you pass out, yet when you wake up the anxiety is even worse. This is caused, obviously, from alcohol itself. Get rid of the culprit and the anxiety disappears.
I remember not being able to leave my house due to the anxiety and drinking. It wasn’t fun. I’ll tell you, for me, getting clean and sober changed my life. I can do whatever I want now and not fear a panic attack.
I do agree with meetings and detox, of you need it. I also believe you can really do this. You’ve already reached out. Now take another step and hit an AA meeting. It will blow your mind hearing other peoples stories and you’ll love the help and community. Just one meeting. That’s all.
Take care and thinking of you today.
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Anxiety is early signs of a serious alcohol withdrawal problem!
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Hey, I'm 16 months sober this go round. I believe in a comprehensive strategy.
Get into a program, anyone you are comfortable with.
Surround yourself with a good support group
Get educated, read Alcohol Explained by William Porter. It's easy to read and understand what alcohol does to keep you addicted. Check out Gillian Tietz's website, podcast and YouTube videos on Sober Powered. She a recovering alcoholic with a wealth of information.
Get yourself straight with God and learn to pray. It really does work.
I will talk sobriety anytime reach out you can and will do this 
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I suggest going to an AA meeting and listen for the similarities and not the differences 
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Thank you all for your kind words and helpful suggestions! I’m going to be weighing out my options so that I can finally achieve the sober life that I deserve. I know it’s going to be hard work and I appreciate knowing that the community here is so supportive.