I have now freaked myself out. I know using is wrong. I've just come to the realization that I use or get triggered by feeling alone. I have no friends and the one thing that's consistently there for me is attaining a high. F***
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Sobriety can be lonely. Meetings are a great place to meet friends SMART AA NA ect
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I dont have much for friends myself so I understand you when you say feel alone because I deal with that a lot and yea it is a trigger and i know it really sucks. If you ever want to talk and such then dont hesitate. I still deal with this myself too
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At the least give yourself credit for recognizing what’s what. Life is and never has been easy for anyone. Reaching out and asking for guidance is another aspect. You’ll be fine.
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The ironic thing is that you are absolutely not alone in this feeling. Loneliness has been the hardest thing I have dealt with in sobriety.
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Yep, the loneliness is the worst part of sobriety for me, but still worth it.
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Part of Recovery is about accepting ourselves as we are. When I first got here I had no idea what my likes or dislikes were and definitely didn’t know what healthy relationships were. I’ve been using this alone time as a way to connect with myself and my HP so I don’t use another human being to make myself feel better. It’s a process and the feeling of loneliness has subsided some. 
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Recovery is actually 1 of the only places where they actually make it a point to welcome new comers, there’s meetings somewhere that people are actually looking forward to helping & being there 4u, just gotta find 1
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Isolation is a killer. Find some meetings to get to and rebuild a community. You can do it
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Posting on here is a great start! We are all here for you! Whenever you feel like you need to use, reach out to a sober friend, go to a meeting, divert your attention to something productive! Most of all remember, you don’t have to do this alone!
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I'm working on my triggers. My mom was emotionally abusive and unavoidable at the point we are at interactions with her trigger me. My grandfather had a medical issue and she talked to me about it which I'm glad she did but it brings up about how my dad passed (complications to his own alcoholism). My mom is also am alcoholic. Being alone is also a trigger because I don't like to feel like I'm unwanted or undesirable. Hang in there and lean into your emotions the answers to the why we got here are usually there.
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