I have relapsed 5 time since 2023 but been clean here lately it has been on my mind again it's scary when that starts happing I try to reach out but just don't know the right words to say
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You found the words. 🫶🏼 just focus on today. Here for support… when I relapsed I had none. So I can offer that and some insight if need to talk.
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Good morning Karen
I know for me it’s been progressive. Glad you’re reaching out and you’re ready to get sober. Hang in there. God has got you
I am a chronic relapser as well. I cant count how many times ive attempted sobriety since the day I first used. But its been more than I can count. Currently ive been sober for 6 months and Im not sure what number this attempt is but Im here and still pushing forward for a better life for me and mine. It is scary especially on day one. But it gets easier and time heals. I think the most intimidating parts of getting clean was facing myself, and making amends with everyone I hurt in the process. Your healing and recovering from a disease that kills the majority of us. And that is going to be messy and beautiful all at the same time. You just have to let go and let God. Trust the process. And In return you will slowly start rebuilding a confident foundation. And one day you'll be able to stop and reflect on all you have accomplished and realize amidst growing up you also learned how to trust YOURSELF again. And thats such a peaceful realization. 
🫶🏼
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It really helps me to read your message, because on my side I’ve also tried many times to quit. But deep down, I kept telling myself, “I can drink socially, it’s fine,” when in reality, it’s not possible. As soon as I open a beer, things go downhill, and sometimes it even leads to other stuff. I find it really hard. It truly helps me to read what you wrote. Thank you. Take care
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Karen, I think you’re on the correct path. But you can easily say, “I need help” and then actually accept the help and take action.
Are you going to meetings daily? Are you working the 12 steps with a sponsor?
If not, this will help you tremendously.
I’m here if you want to talk
Be honest to someone about that feeling you have to use and why. That puts it into a box that you can handle.
You're saying them right now. Just reaching out period, especially to a, group of people who have all been there in one way or another is so helpful for myself, other addicts, and hopefully you'll find for yourself as well. The trick is to find whatever does work for you, different bits and pieces here and there and put them altogether. We are all going to have things that work better than others for our own programs are different from others.