Ive been in a really rocky relationship for the past 2 years. There is no communication, he shuts down when things are hard and has never actually prioritized our relationship. We are on the verge of splitting and bc of how emtpy i have felt i have had multiple binges over the last couple of months. Im not an everyday drinker but when i drink itll binge for 2-3 days. I did that this past week and got in a huge fight with my son, my partner and my
Mom. No one will talk to me and i feel super broken. I wasnt trying to hurt anyone i was just trying to escape. Ive already connected with insurance and outpatient rehab is 100% covered. So i am planning on some intense therapy. But i dont know how to manage my feelings in the meantime. I feel broken, worthless and im just struggling. I dont know why i do this.
Lara needs to do Lara. If you are not healthy you are no good to anybody. My opinion it’s time to put your focus on 100% you.
You’re making steps in the right direction. You will like the new you as well as your son when you choose yourself.
Lara smart move to share your struggle here with folks that been there and absolutely understand.
You may want to consider in person AA meetings, getting a sponsor and doing the 12 steps thoroughly.
For me and many others, these actions dwarfed all the therapy combined.
I needed and wanted radical change and I never wanted to feel helpless or hopeless again. So I finally surrendered to the winning side.
Escaping with booze just didn’t work anymore.
I’m here if you want to talk or have any questions
I had exact same w my past gf. It almost killed me. I had to let go. We would just set each others slips and relapses off as she’d shut down when pre flighting and comms would Deteriorate to nothing was the worst. It was so fkn hard as we cared a ton and truly loved each other. But we were sick. She s in rehab for booze and im in NA now and haven’t Spoke in moths. Talk to me anytime about it. It’s so so hard and emotions override logic. But u need to take a break and focus on u mental and physical health.
Lara here is my recommendation. I was in the same place for many years with my wife and children, I hit my rock bottom called my insurance company. I live in Illinois, my provider is BCBS of Illinois I took a 10 minute assessment with them ,they contacted me back within 2 hours the very next day I had a plane ticket emailed to my phone the next day I flew out here to Los Angeles, there is so many great rehab facilities and Detox facilities out here,I have graduated from Detox and currently in sober living not costing anything I have been here since November 3rd. I would look into Evolutions Detox for the start of your new journey. They are the number 1 facility very well respected out here.
Get out of the relationship!
People don't like it when I say it's a selfish program, but in my eyes it has to be. If you don't put yourself first and get sorted out, you won't ever be able to hold onto any relationship or career. You'll watch it all slip through your fingers, again and again, until you put your recovery in the number one slot. Anything you put before recovery, is doomed to fall by the wayside. This is something we have all learned the hard way, from painful experience.
You got to help yourself before you can help others
Don't worry about all the outside noise just focus on yourself