I just can get a grip on this sobriety thing

Recovery
#21

Nando, there are some good insights here which have been shared.

Do this for yourself to begin with.
I had the tendency to relapse when trying for others.

I too prefer meetings-as was shared above while everyone is different…there are plenty of resources outside of meetings.

I took things second by second at the very beginning.

Distract yourself. Listen to a podcast if possible. Clean a dish. Then, clean another one!

Research cravings, how long they last for. I believe that it is something like under 15 minutes while you can look up the information for accuracy.

Play that tape forward.

Think about how much you will disappoint yourself and your loved ones if you pick up.

There are many resources and tools. Do not give up. Keep reaching out and seeking support. Wishing you well!

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#22

Ty, Sarim🙏

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#23

Do you know why you keep relapsing? It's called, believing the lie; That this time, everything will be OK. But it never is, is it?

Another reason that we abandon ship is because things are not getting better for us fast enough. This is why it's important not to put expectations on anything. Sobriety is a great way of life but the transformation from living the life of a drunk to a sober person does take time.

It's 10 miles Into the Woods and 10 miles back out.

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#24

Thanks Dave. I appreciate you replying to me.

#25

Your not alone. So many of us have struggled with it. I watched a good movie today called Don’t Worry He Won’t Get Far On Foot. And there’s some really good stuff in there. Check it out if you have a chance.

#26

Ty, Bob. NetFlix?

#27

I think it was on Tubi? It’s based on a true story. It has Jonah Hill Jack Black and Joaquin Phoenix. Just some of their conversations really hit me.

#28

Anytime.
I'm here to share experience, strength and hope.

I feel your pain, aggravation and shame. I too wanted to quit drinking so bad but I kept on failing and I hated me.

You are an amazing person being a single father with 3 girls. God loves you and wants you to be sober so that you can be the best father ever. The next time that you have a desire to drink you need to play the scene forward.

What happens if you drink? You might feel some relief for a short period of time but sooner or later you're going be right back where you are, carrying around more shame, realizing that you accomplished absolutely nothing.

In AA we call this the insidious cycle of insanity.

I dont know how old your girls are but I'd be willing to bet you that for what it costs you to drink you could probably hire a babysitter to watch your girls while you go to an AA meeting.

It really would be better if you could go to 90 meetings in 90 days but being a single father, if you have a lot on your plate maybe you could go to 3 meetings a week.

A transformation occurs when we get a sponsor that takes us through the 12 steps of AA.

Also, When you get cravings try taking in some sweets. They help curb cravings.

#29

The other thing that I wanted to tell you Nando Is to be careful about hanging out with others that drink. If you hang around a barber shop long enough you're going to get a haircut.

#30

I guess this all has to start w me and stop hiding behind the bottle like everything is ok. I’ve only been lying to myself for the past 3 years and pretty much everyone around me.
You don’t even know me but you do by saying guilt, shame and aggravation which is all true. Thanks Dave I appreciate you brother. If I feel the urge which usually happens after 3-4 of being sober I will hop on the app. This Sunday will be a big test for me. Heading to a funeral for a buddy who passed. Wish me luck

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#32

I'm just an alcoholic who has screwed up a lot with trying to recover. I just throw it out there and see if you can relate. I want you to know that no matter how much you think you have screwed up in the past, you still have hope.

Who we are should not be defined entirely by our past but rather by what we can still become. And it sounds to me like you have some beautiful girls that are depending on you and need you.

It does get better and sobriety is a great way of life but you have to start right from where you are.

I relapsed a lot myself back in the nineties. I finally made it back into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous in 2002 where I stayed sober for almost 9 yrs. Sometime in 2011 I screwed up again and it cost me about 3 years of oblivion. If I make it until July I will have 9 years. So yes I've been around this thing for a while.

Your recovery will be much easier if you get into the rooms of Alcoholic Anonymous and find a quality sponsor that will take you through the steps.

Regarding the funeral; My advice is that you go there to pay your respects but don't hang out anywhere where there is going to be alcohol available. Whether it be the funeral home or someone's house. You're too new to sobriety.
And you don't owe anyone any explanation as to why you're not sticking around.

Hope that helps.

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#33

Don’t give. I relapsed twice by the Grace of God made it back to the rooms of AA. Each relapse was worse. Meetings talk with another alcoholic eat chocolate go for a walk. 1440 minutes in a day. I celebrated five years this past September. You can do it. Honestly, Willingness, Acceptance!

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#34

I hear you loud and clear Dave. As I was reading this my youngest comes up to me being a joker and jumps in my arms on the couch and I ask myself why do I ruin myself when I have 3 angels making me laugh and feel good inside.
I wish I just had the on off button when I started craving. Like I said I’m so good and than so darn bad. One thing I do know is working out running, taking classes at the gym, sauna not only make me feel clean but clear. I don’t get it that when all the booze is out I have to pour it back in…. I’m f’d up.

#35

Ty, Scott

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#37

Thanks Brianna. :pray:

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#38

Nando

I get everything you're saying.
Most alcoholics can relate to you too. You're suffering from an obsession with alcohol.

You should try to get to some AA meetings and try to find a sponsor who's been sober for a long time. Preferably one that goes to big book discussion meetings and/or 12 and 12 meetings.

12 and 12 stands for 12 Steps 12 Traditions. It's a book that was written for alcoholics by alcoholics.

Speaker meetings are good also. You can hear people get up and tell what their life was like what happened and what it's like now.

There are answers but you're going to have to take action outside of this app and outside of your home.

I too was once where you're at not understanding why I kept screwing myself up like this. I no longer have that problem.
Here's a link that will help you find meetings in any part of the country.

If you start going to meetings and get a sponsor that takes you through the steps, these are the promises that will come true in your life.

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#39

I 2nd everything said here.

#40

This is a perfect thing to say on a sobriety app you are right where you're supposed to be me too good job it's not easy keep it up

#41

Checking in, Nando.
How are you doing right now?

#42

Just finished yoga, stretching sober 11 days thanks for checking in Sarim, preciate’ you :pray:

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