I just ended an unhealthy relationship and I’m having a hard time coping…I’m trying to focus on my sobriety but I’m feeling so alone and having to relearn how to live my life is so hard! I just want to reach for substances to numb the pain, but I also don’t want to give up on my sobriety. Why is healing and recovery so good for you but so hard to do??
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The pain will pass Roshni. You will rebuild your life and it will be beautiful. Just feel your feelings. Don't numb them. You'll be able to analyze things better.
Post here any time things get overwhelming. Youll get tons of support.
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All good things come with a price. We work at it to receive relief. Sending you some peace and strength Roshni. You can do this!
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Roshni, a few weeks ago you gave me advise about recovery being one day at a time and I know you understand this so deeply because you did do 7 months in the past.
We also talked about how relationships suck and we can't let the negativity from it control us and our moods. Now it's your turn to become the best version of yourself and be happy😊
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If you think about it pretty much all the good things in this life do not come easy. My only feedback would be stay connected with other people don't ever think you have to do this by yourself reach out to others and or go to meetings especially especially for sure when you don't want to that's one of the hardest things to discipline yourself to do is something even when you don't want to or have somebody making you. And like I said this is all feedback not telling anyone else what to do but I have close to 10 years of in and out of residential treatments and IOP treatments and op treatments so I have seen a thing or two.
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And to get a sponsor and work the steps and when all else fails working with another alcoholic pretty much always saves the Day and it's nice with technology nowadays no matter what because of this site and other sites like it you can always find a sober person to listen and to talk with.
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Roshini you can do this. Feelings are always messy. Escape and numbing is the addict/alcoholic easy way out. It becomes our first line of defense. You need a replacement. Use your support group here or at a meeting. Most of us have been exactly where you are. If you have a higher power that too will help as well. If you pick up you will feel even worse. Take it easy. Don’t give up! You have many listening ears here. Reach out. And God bless! 
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I know your pain all to well. Healing is a part of growing and with growing comes pain. I lost my ex almost 6 months ago and the pain I still feel is there. But we have to get up each day and put one foot in front of the other. Otherwise we will fail and that's not an option. Remember one day at a time and there's no exact date to when you are supposed to be healed. It's all on you. One day you will wake up without the burden. Keep the faith and remember substances only set you back.
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Thank you all for your responses. It’s been so tough backing off and not reaching out, but I know that’s for the best. I’ve been doing a lot of self care and going to meetings and reading up on things. It hurts but I’ll survive.
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I’m glad to hear I’m not alone but I’m sad to hear you’re going through something similar. It really hurts and is so hard, especially when you’re practicing sobriety and can’t numb the pain…
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Trust me it pays off spiritually, you will get to a new level of trusting yourself and being so proud & actually love yourself again. It’s amazing but it is very hard. Nothing in life worth having comes to you easy! You can do it! Reach out & connect with ppl for sure!
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Going through same process myself after 11 yr relationship. H.old O.n P.ain E.nds
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Aw, I relate to so much of all which has been relayed. Roshni, I left a relationship three years ago and I s t i l l feel like numbing out to squelch the pain. In fact. Such is what I did and believe me, drinking magnified the horrible pain ten fold. Do not pick up no matter what. I will not as well. Loads of support here. Please keep us posted. Yes. It sucks , the loss sucks. While again, drinking will make everything so much worse. I know y’all know! It’s all just so relatable.
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Also, a random ask-Jenn, are you “ the Jenn “ who has provided Zoom meeting info? ( I believe that you are ) / mind listing the information once again? Thank you and same in relation to any , all online information. Thanks, Loosid family. Y’all rock.
It’s an addiction to the feeling you got from the relationship. Keeping track of the days is similar to keeping count of your sober days.
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I love that acronym of HOPE
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“ Trauma bond “ , oh my gosh. Makes perfect sense. I am convinced that my now former partner and I were and remain connected by some ( or many ) karmic cords. The relationship was toxic while I would not be here, typing this to y’all were so not for that mess. Which in the end, has forced me to grow. ( p s , unable to “ like “ comments - while so relating ). Hope everyone is proud of themselves today for showing up and wanting sobriety.
I will not drink with y’all today, tonight.
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I wasted 10 years of being in a unhealthy relationship, it’s been 4 years ago now and he is still in my head, yes I do pick up and drink just to numb out, but joined here on Loosid and it helps to know your not alone and man am I alone😒
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No Debbie, you’re never alone.
Hi Sarim! Yes, I am the Jenn. The AA meeting that I highly suggest for finding sponsors and support is below. Let me know if you have any questions about non-AA meetings as well!
ID: 628 231 1528
Password: 1234